Description: This is a little fairytale story of a young innocent feary, who dresses up and overdoes her make-up for attention. The narrator is telling her she is beautiful under all the make-up and should go home and and sleep. Opinons of how you relate to it and what it relates to, and you likes and dislikes.
The painted Feary -------------------------------------------
I really like this because I do not like to see young girls disguise their beauty behind make up and I hate to see them waste young years wanting to be older. Wonderful way to express this. I love the image of butterfly eyes.
Its so simple that I can't help but love it. You did a great job with this. Too many people cover up what is natural and too many just need to go home and sleep of the oppresion they subject themselves to in today's society. Great write. Blessed Be!
Hey there. That's an interesting spelling of fairy. I've only seen it spelled "fairy" and "faerie". Never with a "y" though.
Anyhoo...the piece isn't that bad. There are some grammatical errors that need correcting.
"butterflys" should be "butterflies".
I also found the ending a little bit hard to comprehend. It didn't flow as well as I'd have hoped.
You wrote:
"Tonight maybe my dancing feary
Rest your wings goodnight"
That part didn't make much sense to be honest. Did you intend to express that the fairy would rest her wings? If that is the case, maybe you should add some sort of connecting word to establish that. Something like:
"Maybe tonight my dancing fairy will rest her wings"
Submission Name: The painted Feary
