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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: one eyed warrendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pestiferous
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 273/381/55
    Words: 44
    Class/Type: Limerick/Comedy
    Total Views: 1119
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 282



    Description:
       The greatest wild shooter of the old west.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsone eyed warrendots
    -------------------------------------------


    There once was a slinger
    who had a quick finger.
    They say he was the best
    the fastest gun in the west.
    But the girls always said,"Don't shoot me in the eye again, it burns dickhead!"

    Sir Mister Pestiferous aka The Gray Angel




    Submitted on 2005-02-27 10:53:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow I love this haha. A cute piece that ends quite interestingly. You are not talking about bullets shooting her in the eye, are you? lol. Pretty clever.

    Later
    | Posted on 2005-05-05 00:00:00 | by xeternalshadowx | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it. As I'm sooo not surprised that I do. Those girls should keep goggles around don't you think? hehe. I only wish it had been longer, a little more to bite in to. Although I think with your pieces, I'm always wishing they didn't end, I enjoy them immensely. Great work as always!
    | Posted on 2005-05-01 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      dude, read my submittal and tell me if im being an a-hole. i'm not trying to cramp you. have you ever sent anything to playboy? someone said i might wanna send my previous limerick, love endures. yeah sure. what about you?
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by shockking | [ Reply to This ]
      i knew i could count on you for a laugh..as i read this entry, a variation popped into my head of which i'll post in a sec. i really like the last line, the start of the poem spoken in perhaps a sing-song kind of way only to have the last line spoken in a dead pan manner...dickhead...LOL thanks
    | Posted on 2005-04-25 00:00:00 | by shockking | [ Reply to This ]
      it was funny, but at the beggining it was to me, geared towards a younger audience. but then at the end you used dickhead, which sortof ruined the mood. but thats only my opinion. other then that, good write!
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-02-27 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty clever and that last line is hyserical. To be honest, I had to read it over three or four times to get it because I'm so slow when it comes to stuff like that, but once I got it I was compelled to comment.

    I have to say, though, that I agree with DanceADream, the word 'dickhead' did sort of ruin the mood. But then again, I'm not really sure there's another word you can really substitute for it. Anyway, whether or not you want to address that is completely up to.

    The only other query I have with this is that I feel like the third and fourth lines should be flipped. I don't know why exactly, I just think it would sound better. But that's just my opinion, you don't really have to change it.

    Anyway, this amused me and I liked it. Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2005-02-27 00:00:00 | by Babysweet56 | [ Reply to This ]


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