Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Like the Rockdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katj
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 103/89/24
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1050
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 610



    Description:
       I never sleep


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLike the Rockdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I feel more like the rock,
    Then I am sleeping like one.
    Always awake,
    Living on the routine two hours,
    Life of the insane insomniac.

    Laying in bed for hours,
    Unable to succumb to sleep.
    So many things block my slumber,
    Dogs barking,
    Light creeping in from the windows,
    My constant flow of thought.

    Sleep restricted,
    And exhausted.
    Slip me sleeping pills,
    Never mind the side effects,
    Just let me sleep.

    I feel more like the rock,
    Then I am sleeping like one.




    Submitted on 2005-02-27 17:38:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is... surprisingly good. I liked it, you took a simple thought and made a very good poem out of it, not just that, it could have different interpretations, so it's deep even if you just meant to say that you can't sleep, lol. Oh and it reminds me of myself, I have a similar situation, I can't sleep either sometimes and it sucks... a lot.
    | Posted on 2005-02-27 00:00:00 | by April0414 | [ Reply to This ]
      The "sandwich" repetition is a very good effect here. I can feel that sleeplessness (is that a word?) in this. Very nice piece...Keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Deadly Sauce | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    48501

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry