Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This Is Why the Ribbons Tie...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
    ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890/865/108
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 961
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 693



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis Is Why the Ribbons Tie...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Here I lay with these ribbons tied
    at times I find myself asking
    why, why?
    I live in a box
    a guard blocks my way
    and I can hear you pacing
    on the other side.
    I lean against the makeshift wall
    sometimes
    I can feel your heart beating.
    I cry to the darkness, the cardboard night
    which melts into sudden immense light
    and a hand extends out to me
    one comforting and caring
    a chest holds me
    one warm and wantin
    I know your hurt
    I know your pain
    You know mine
    you feel my shame
    we lay here these ribbons tied
    I finally stopped asking
    why, why?




    Submitted on 2005-02-28 12:08:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i love your "why, why?" lines.

    and it's easy to picture your words.

    let me try and intepret:

    girl lives in a box, feels far from boy, but listens out for boy all the time. girl cries, suddenly something happens, melts the walls, boy can touch girl now, they hold hands, the world makes sense again.

    it's just about reaching out, isn't it?

    your words flow so well though. this is a beautiful poem.
    | Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by queenhenry | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm i would like to get some info about this.
    This reminds me of a bond between two people and one seemingly betrys the other, but thats in my head.
    Great write and ill be sure to check your other writes.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    48583

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Push written by JanePlane
    The Promise written by annie0888
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry