Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

This Is Why the Ribbons Tie...

Author: ViCiOuSWrItEr
ASL Info:    18/Female/Desolate
Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 890 /865 /108
Words: 110
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1568
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 693


This Is Why the Ribbons Tie...

Here I lay with these ribbons tied
at times I find myself asking
why, why?
I live in a box
a guard blocks my way
and I can hear you pacing
on the other side.
I lean against the makeshift wall
I can feel your heart beating.
I cry to the darkness, the cardboard night
which melts into sudden immense light
and a hand extends out to me
one comforting and caring
a chest holds me
one warm and wantin
I know your hurt
I know your pain
You know mine
you feel my shame
we lay here these ribbons tied
I finally stopped asking
why, why?

Submitted on 2005-02-28 12:08:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i love your "why, why?" lines.

and it's easy to picture your words.

let me try and intepret:

girl lives in a box, feels far from boy, but listens out for boy all the time. girl cries, suddenly something happens, melts the walls, boy can touch girl now, they hold hands, the world makes sense again.

it's just about reaching out, isn't it?

your words flow so well though. this is a beautiful poem.
| Posted on 2006-09-24 00:00:00 | by queenhenry | [ Reply to This ]
  hmm i would like to get some info about this.
This reminds me of a bond between two people and one seemingly betrys the other, but thats in my head.
Great write and ill be sure to check your other writes.

| Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?