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Broken Glass

Author: Rubi_Roja
ASL Info:    20/F/
Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 185 /164 /29
Words: 79
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1216
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 442


Broken Glass

I do not want to be a part of your bleeding bulging heart,
Clog your arteries with something else,
if that is not enough for you, then I am sorry,
but I am glass and I cut others when I shatter to pieces,
I have no green hills and deep dark valleys,
Look for that big red ‘X’ somewhere else,
And I am out of excuses,
So chew on something else,
Other than the fat of my lips,

Submitted on 2005-02-28 13:30:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  For fun, read this one aloud, at a loud, loud volume. Man this rocks when read in the proper timbre, with sufficient anger. The only thing I didn't like is the "and" in the second to last line... (oh, and I didn't understand the "big red 'x'" part, but I'm a guy, and we're not so bright).
| Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice imagery, but like coffeekate6 said, there's a bit of inconsistency...otherwise, very well done! Diction is superb :) Keep up the good work!
| Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Deadly Sauce | [ Reply to This ]
  ohooholsoh i think this is the best thing i have read from you yet! i dont know why yet but wow. its sooo metaphoric and yet totaly clear. sooo perfect and sassy.. i like it alot. its blunt yet poetic. full of emtion yet black and white. oooffff. nice work i think. take care. >
| Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
  Hm, I gotta say I disagree with the others on this one. It's raw, pouding and unprocessed, it's pure emotion and that definitely makes it stand out.
The imagery is dark and powerful, on the verge of being off-putting sometimes, and I really like that kind of duality.
This is an original, high-quality poem.
| Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the raw anger feeling of this poem. Of course when you put up so much effort and over looked so many excuses, there come a trimes when enough is enough and you let out the big bad dog inside of you. And to be honest that how it should be. When someone betray your trust over and over. When we are pissed off enough to break up with someone, of course we not going to write a sweet dreamy style poem,it should be full of passion,even if it neg. Once you do that,you cn move forward with your life.

As I always say,bring it hard, bring it fast and knock them on their ass,lol
| Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]

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