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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Candots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kera
    ASL Info:    18-f-NH
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 116/129/29
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 442



    Description:
       There is no explanation or description. you get it or you dont...you like it or you dont...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strangers, aliens, outsiders, can
    they share what me and you
    have been through?Can they feel
    the razor rip through the
    wrists I clentch? They seem to know my pain.

    They seem to know all, can
    this be true? They know you
    too; and the screams you hear
    from your room. The
    aliens hear all, even your screaming.



    read the last words in each line




    Submitted on 2005-02-28 19:08:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      You did a good job with this write
    I believe you are describing how a persons feelings and fears are not so unique as A lot of us share the very same problems
    Not bad at all!!!
    I look forward to reading more from you in the future
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Kera

    I have read it a couple of times, and have difficulty in gaining a proper rhythm or flow. I know you have a lot in mind, but you have to work on it. It is hard, but keep on working ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      i was intrigued with this because it was difficult to read...after the third time reading it i thinkmi understood why you chose the format you used...i like that...the part with the aliens made me feel very uneasy...it was weird...the razor part reminded me of a horrible past...cutting stage

    this was clear when i read a few times i like your technique

    Rhaine
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
      mmm perhaps they do.. what business do they have listening to my obscenities? though this poem is interesting.. your use of question is a technique most writers use to draw in a reader.. it is a way of feeling like he or she is being addressed and forced to question for his or herself.. by this alone you have drawn in the reader.. lol i would say a bit more but i'll just shut up now..

    hmm afraid i'll say something annoying..

    Adam
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm... interesting. i espicially like how the last words in each line spell out, 'can you feel the pain' 'can you hear the screaming'
    very origional, i liked it a lot.
    the thing that kinda freaked me out was the they know all part... don't like to think about that.
    good write
    -wildchild
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      this was interesting to read by far.
    Aliens being some what odd and different and your comparing yourself with them, stating your different.
    Good write wish there was a meaning to it.

    ACE
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]


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