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    dots Submission Name: Candots

    Author: Kera
    ASL Info:    18-f-NH
    Elite Ratio:    3.67 - 116/129/29
    Words: 69
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 442

       There is no explanation or description. you get it or you dont...you like it or you dont...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Strangers, aliens, outsiders, can
    they share what me and you
    have been through?Can they feel
    the razor rip through the
    wrists I clentch? They seem to know my pain.

    They seem to know all, can
    this be true? They know you
    too; and the screams you hear
    from your room. The
    aliens hear all, even your screaming.

    read the last words in each line

    Submitted on 2005-02-28 19:08:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You did a good job with this write
    I believe you are describing how a persons feelings and fears are not so unique as A lot of us share the very same problems
    Not bad at all!!!
    I look forward to reading more from you in the future
    God Bless

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Kera

    I have read it a couple of times, and have difficulty in gaining a proper rhythm or flow. I know you have a lot in mind, but you have to work on it. It is hard, but keep on working ;0)

    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      i was intrigued with this because it was difficult to read...after the third time reading it i thinkmi understood why you chose the format you used...i like that...the part with the aliens made me feel very uneasy...it was weird...the razor part reminded me of a horrible past...cutting stage

    this was clear when i read a few times i like your technique

    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ]
      mmm perhaps they do.. what business do they have listening to my obscenities? though this poem is interesting.. your use of question is a technique most writers use to draw in a reader.. it is a way of feeling like he or she is being addressed and forced to question for his or herself.. by this alone you have drawn in the reader.. lol i would say a bit more but i'll just shut up now..

    hmm afraid i'll say something annoying..

    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Pyrosis | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm... interesting. i espicially like how the last words in each line spell out, 'can you feel the pain' 'can you hear the screaming'
    very origional, i liked it a lot.
    the thing that kinda freaked me out was the they know all part... don't like to think about that.
    good write
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      this was interesting to read by far.
    Aliens being some what odd and different and your comparing yourself with them, stating your different.
    Good write wish there was a meaning to it.

    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]

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