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    dots Submission Name: Work of confused minddots

    Author: Anarius
    ASL Info:    24/m/somewhere in Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 631/678/168
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 864
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 776


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWork of confused minddots

    Creeping through the blue haze
    delicately caressing the memories
    the ghosts, and the dreams.
    Suspicously studying the wings
    under the mans suit, who stands there
    Nothing left to do, but tenderly place
    his forgotten feather, in the pocket of your mind,
    forget it later, when emmenince is less important
    You finally find your dishes,
    after the haze clears,
    wash them in the rapids,
    the cool white water washes away all the
    impurities, that wouldn't let you sink,
    in the swirling waters.
    Die later,
    deep fry your hamburger,
    eat a chicken,
    my minds left me...
    poor chicken,
    I'm a vegetarian.

    Submitted on 2005-02-28 19:44:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Anarius

    I will try to give you some comments, because I think if you really worked on you structure, it would become quite interesting ;0)


    Creeping through the blue haze
    Delicately caressing memories
    Ghosts, dreams.
    Suspicously studying the wings
    Under the mans suit...
    Who where standing right there

    Nothing left to do, but tenderly place
    He forgot his feather
    In the pocket of your mind
    forgotten, when emmenince is less important

    I do not know if you are able to use it. But keep on working ;0)

    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      hey this was good! it was funny. the impresion that i got from this poem was walking through a blue room caressing the walls your hands seeping through the walls like a knife cutting through your memories. then there is this white room and the only thing resinding was a feather you place it in your pocket and then reach a lake where you clear yourself of all the impurities that you have and enjoy your life the chicken part was hilarious.
    | Posted on 2005-02-28 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]

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