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    dots Submission Name: Days Like Thesedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 884
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 327


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    dotsDays Like Thesedots

    Days like these
    we fall and donít care if we ever get up again
    our lips tremble too much to speak.
    We wash our faces with tears.
    We sleep too much to be awake.
    Weíre apart too much to really be together.
    Days like these,
    I dream of the way we used to be.

    Submitted on 2004-03-30 14:20:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ah, who doesn't! "good old days", "those days", "remember when?"... i really liked,
    "We fall and donít care if we ever get up again"
    i reads like, what's wrong with falling and hitting the ground? what's wrong with being miserable? this is all right! i have no hopes and expectations. i'm happy being unhappy.
    nice write cuddle
    | Posted on 2004-03-31 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy, this is another "best" of your minimal writes. Every line so simple,--all the little contrasts within each line too--give the whole poem that " I just want to go stay in bed and dream ---because it's easier and feels better---
    It's like the first 7 lines you are commenting of how different things are--through conrasts..then sum up nicely in the last 2 --where you really want to be. I like this a lot
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      a beautiful write. amazing. it reminds me of a song by the Foo Fighters just because it has the same title. but this song is amazing and this poem is it too.
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      You ARE a minimalist--and a good one! wonderful piece--you don't need to change anything. :)
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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