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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: AWAKEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/Depressed
    Total Views: 885
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 587



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAWAKEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is not a dream,
    for it's the nightmare where I've been.
    Life is not as seems,
    for it's death, lies and cheats.
    Yesterdays is where I was born,
    todays I want to die.
    Tomorrows never come,
    so I live a lie.

    Yes so I live in happiness,
    is that what it seems to you?
    Because my lie hides my feelings,
    myself I may confuse.
    Why should I asleep this nightmare,
    when I can awake to heavens gate?
    Fuck this world of sleeping hell,
    when I die I'll be awake.




    Submitted on 2005-03-01 04:06:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was great up untill
    Why should I asleep this nightmare,
    when I ca awake to heavens gate?
    [censored] this world of sleeping hell,
    when I die I'll be awake.
    That part. It just isn't right somehow. I know what you are trying to say, I just dont think you got it out the way you should or the way I know that you can. Check it out (Take this or leave it , I'm pretty tired anyway) ~see ya I just know you can wrap that part up better without changing what you are saying.~L.t
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
      Expletives really drain away from the strength that you had. I agree, though. It's hard to seem happy and really feel so down inside.
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
      knowing full well of what this poem implys i just want to say that this poem is buautifully meloncholic but if you that thats the only way then you are truly mistaken becuase even if you dont know it your life plays a significant role in every one around you and if somthing happens to you it will effect them in one way or another you got to try to see the big picture even if the task infront of you seems impossible or tedious stick to it and you will awaken in this life not the next to give up like that is not waking up but going into a deeper sleep you need to find yourself have faith in yourself an you will find your way and you will wake up i have faith in you for someone with such a beautifull spirit you will find your way you just need to have faith and trust in the cards that are delt with you ...linger not in the past but look to the futture..there are people around you who care about you seek them out if you cant find them be patient thats all i can say have faith and be patient

    sincerely Runaway_Poet
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by runaway_poet | [ Reply to This ]
      i get what you are saying but wow...very negative now.. whats going on? are you just all of a sudden feeling like this? or has something happened? sheezer! i wish u guys would keep me informed!

    good write...

    -Sierra
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]


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