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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: THE LIGHT THAT IT SEEMSdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Deep Thought/
    Total Views: 1159
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTHE LIGHT THAT IT SEEMSdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Searching for answers unknown to the mind.
    Distortion of truth and damned if your blind.
    Creating illusions, creating our death.
    Disableing freedom, please answer this.

    Are we dead, or are we saved?
    Or are we just in hell?
    Are we drawing all the blood,
    for is it life we fail?
    Are we tired of useless laws,
    are we free to tell?
    Are these things the questions answered,
    are we locked inside a cell?

    Decaying away endless time was created.
    Dying plants of life's unburied saneness.
    Forcing the people from their own dreams.
    The life of our darkness, the light that it seems.




    Submitted on 2005-03-01 04:16:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "blined" = blind
    "dieing" = dying
    "lifes" = lives
    "unburried" = unburied
    "forceing" = forcing
    Use spellcheck! Or, even better, try to learn how to spell! Especially if you're going to write!
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
      I am really feeling the depth in the first and last stanzas I'm actually very impressed with the last line "forcing... it seems"it was vivid. However in this part here "are we tired of useless laws...till cell" you didn't articulate very well and some of the meaning of the point got lost. APART from that this piece was very telling but still quite abstruse...is about religion or just about one being so caught in life's shallowness that they lose themselves
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by rytrsbloc | [ Reply to This ]
      i so am feeling this for some awkward reason. i mean i really thought that it was good. and i read it like 5 times. i have a habit of doing that. lolz. but yea. very nice. i liked the part where you said

    "...Searching for answers unknown to the mind.
    Distortion of truth and damned if your blind.
    Creating illusions, creating our death.
    Disableing freedom, please answer this..."

    yea i just liked that as an opening. good job. babez!

    -Sierra
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by PookiezBookie | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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