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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: THE REALEST WORDS I EVER WROTEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 354
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 2997
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2101



    Description:
       I really don't know what else to say to this girl to persuade her to let me love her. She is so afraid to fall in love again. I do understad why however. What must I do to show her that I am genuine? What must I say? What is it that hits the spot with women? Somebody tell me something?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTHE REALEST WORDS I EVER WROTEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am trying so hard to become one with you
    Sometimes I sit and ask myself what must I do
    I have written the sweetest poems, sent flowers and cards
    Even stared in your eyes and poured out my heart

    But you've built yourself a wall to be safe from pain
    Which I can truly understand because of what's his name
    But honestly I am genuine...I'm not the same
    He's a boy. I'm a man and I am far pass games

    Baby I want to be your savour...Let me rescue you
    I want to lead you beyond life...I am what's best for you
    I have respect for you--I could never make you hurt
    You'll never find another woman's make up on my shirt

    Plus you'll never have to work...I can handle the bills
    Let me show you how a real woman is supposed to feel
    You can experience things you probably never have dreamed
    Get away to the islands, the most romantic of scenes

    Don't you want to be loved? You can answer with a kiss
    Welcome to my arms...Here's a preview of pure bliss
    Daddy left when I was six. He made Mama cry
    So why would I give to you the very thing I despise

    We will be together for the rest of our lives
    And i'll only be charmed by the depth in your eyes
    Read you poems on the beach to the breath of the tides
    Hold hands in intimatcy until we see the sun rise

    Why would you not want royal treatment
    You're fit for a king
    The on one knee type of agreement
    You're fit for a ring

    No I'm not giving up!
    Being friends is not enough
    I am standing in the cut
    To ambush you with my love

    You must be truly blind to not be able to see
    That it's designed that you should fall in love with me
    These words are the truest, God bless that they influence
    And I pray that you respond to this offer with prudence








    Submitted on 2005-03-01 14:21:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it very much...I too know the burden of persuading a girl that I was different...but what I think you may understand is that nice guys will always finish last...and that men before us have tarnished the reputation of the good young men coming up in this world...Like you said I really don't blame them either...but we are not the only one's that have it hard...for them to be done wrong and trust another man that says the same thing is hard...I love the poem and you are right that we should be partners...cause our experiences are as similar as our motives to show the world that we are different and that we have the same mission to expose the unrealist of things...Good work.
    | Posted on 2005-04-22 00:00:00 | by Xantin | [ Reply to This ]
      Read your poem with the perspective of one in luv, one in luv with someone who holds the same promise & ROMANCE as you do. It touched every womanly thing & appealed to every open feminine facet. But is it REAL? to someone HURT, it may sound specious, or TOO GOOD 2 BE TRUE. Realest words, yes, from your heart. But to a wounded person, they may actually be hurt enough to read the opposite of these real words of yours. Don't be discouraged.
    Loved rytrsblock's comments as well. worth a read there.
    I liked the rhthym, & especially the sentiment. Buenos Suertes, amigo!
    | Posted on 2005-04-16 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow . . this poem makes me wana believe so badly that love is the ultimate and is all that matters in this life . Obviously this girl mean the world to you. I know what's it like to have a guy cheat on you - you loose all sense of trust 4all mankind - but do stick in there coz a guy so sweet as you deserves to break down her wall. Want i little peck what it feels like to have been cheated on then check out my poe "Embrace". Good luck
    | Posted on 2005-03-20 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey xtremegentleman

    When I read this poem, I was getting the impression that it is more a letter then a poem or piece of rapů

    I think that you are using too many words to say what you really would like to say. So by cutting away some of the words, I think it could become more exiting. You are working a lot with rhythm and flow, which is excellent. But I think you are able to move some words or chance them and getting a more exiting piece.

    Many you are able to use my comment ;0)

    Take care, keep on working ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, I can relate to this. But I dont know what its like at your age, I just realized that both women and men who have heard these types of words before are very reluctant to believe in them again once they have been "wronged" by someone else, words like what you have written can seem like just another doorway to a world of pain. So, actions speak louder than words and thats probably what you will have to do to get her to see your love and commitment. Gentle actions of love and compassion.
    Good luck and if you truly love her like you said, then there is no way that you can ever get frustrated with her...no matter how she perceives you.
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      this is another great poem bruh,
    Maybe u should send this to her...lol

    Aight bruh this is kinda sneaky but, Write a beautiful poem about her, and then title it with her name... Dont give it to her, but let her come across it by herself (that takes planning and timing). when she finds it, just act surprised , like you never wanted her to see it...
    Its kind alike reverse psycology.

    Just my crazy advice..

    But seriously
    The whole relationship thing is kinda crazy, sometimes you dont know a person until you all start a relationship, so if youve been friends for a while and u know her for who she is, then offer her everything, but if you dont know her, try the freind thing..

    Who knows, maybe shes gaming, maybe she just doesnt want a relationship, ive known peeps to play the whole "ive been hurt before" thing, because they just werent interested and didnt want to hurt the person that was checking them..
    If she is a girl worthy of you, then just be yourself.
    But some girls also like when u are kinda nonchalant about the situation..

    But on the real,, u do whats in your heart...
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by ariesmind | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this poem. But I don't think you should go overboard. Try not to pressure her. She is still trying to get over something serious. All you can do is give her some time. i am sure she likes you too. She is just to scared to get hurt. I don't blame her. But all you can do is be there and support her. But if you really do believe you have a future with her.. Wait, wait until she is ready to start a new relationship. It will happen over some time. But you guys will be happy together..
    good luck
    stephanie
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ]
      A woman is a flower and you should be her soil
    Give her the truth of HOPE and TIME and the LUXURY to uncoil
    Be the dark strong beauty and hold her to the ground
    And when she looks down, for her roots
    In YOU they will be found.
    Never make her your desperation
    Just leave her let her be...
    If she defies growth in YOU
    Then she may be a weed...
    I know this is corny as hell but it was impulse LOL... had to do it... anyway when a woman feels pain let her be for while...be there...but don't saturate or pressure her( with gifts).Let her come around and never make her feel that she is obligated to you if she doesn't OPEN and TRY then maybe you've got her at the wrong time or you simply have the wrong woman:)ALL THE BEST!
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by rytrsbloc | [ Reply to This ]
      X, if that girl can't see how much she means to you, she HAS to be blind. But you know what, don't give up. I mean, I know you won't, but if you want something (or someone) that bad, then go after it (or them). And I swear, everytime I read something you wrote for her, I wonder "why the hell ain't they together yet??!" But if you gotta go out of your way to really SHOW her how you feel about her, by all means, do it. Go all out. Get your woman!
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      As a down to earth woman, i'll try to understand what you're trying to say. But at the same time you have to understand that when someone is in a relationship, despite the fact that you probabaly don't think that they should be in that relationship, it is in your best interest to respect the relationship. Think about yourself in the "what's his name"s shoes, would you like another crony inch up on your gurl. Just my thoughts, think about it. If you were mean't to be then it will eventually happen, and if it doesn't someone else is waiting.
    | Posted on 2005-03-01 00:00:00 | by african_skin | [ Reply to This ]
      stop stalking the girl...jeeze


    this was sweet...wana hook -up with my sister?

    I can hook you uuuuuuupp...

    you too old for her anyways...
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by RJCHANDLER | [ Reply to This ]
      Boi! X! What the hell? Those were the 'realest words I have evr heard you say. And that girl is truy blind not to see you. and that you should fall in love. But if you ever 'think for one secong that she loves someone else, then throw that boomerang away'., Remeber those? I hope your not having that kind of trouble. But first of all, did you show her this, because if you didn't, then maybe you are blind lol. Show her it!!
    Amy
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      you are such a romantic guy, what's her deal. she doesn't know what she is missing out on. let's see, the poem was amazing, i don't have much to say on that. you are a great writer* as far as she goes, i'll offer a little advice, dont' be pushy about the relationship, that'll only drive her away. play it cool, be the friend she wants, in fact be a best friend, spend time together as friends, and then when you think things are going great, you make a move. if she pulls away then you know it's not time yet. she is scared of being hurt you need to give her the space yet be there for her so she knows she is safe with you* we are confusing and understanding what a woman wants changes with each one. just have patience honey, it'll work out.

    ;)
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by _winky_ | [ Reply to This ]
      First i'll say that this is a great write...as always from you ...I promised myself id check out a couple of your writes today ...So i am ...
    From a girl who is 100% against falling in love...Umm...The best tool you can have is patience ...Soon as you go too far she will run ...least thats what i do ....Plus you have to take a little responsibility for it ...So if she crumbles....Be around for it ....I dont know ...It's hard ...i dont know her...i dont know you ....So i hope it works out for you ....All i can say is what my mum tells me each time i get my heart broken .."If it's meant to be ....It will be"
    Blessed Be and good luck casanova
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]
      well i can see why she wouldn't go and gaze in at the wonderous things that you have so lovingly promised. women have listened to game like that from so many men or boys i should say, but if you are as geniune as you say then you'll have no problem showing her otherwise right?!
    i don't know many miami women that would let you pay her way, but then again my friends here in the 305, are a little too real but we all wish men were more romantic and it seems that you are beyond romance. it sounds to me that you look at a girl sideways, and she's already weak at the knees. lol.
    aside from your pruely romantic whispers of love dialoge, the poem could stand by itself and on two legs. it was a very beautiful poem indeed.but sometimes a woman would perfer realism to fantasy, its not always about running off to pardise sometimes you can just make it a "BlockBuster Night", right?!
    keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by butterfly wings | [ Reply to This ]


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