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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Flames from the Mouthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: particularshard
    ASL Info:    23/m/DC
    Elite Ratio:    4.21 - 1159/1392/363
    Words: 351
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 15037
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2216



    Description:
       I had to stop because I gotta go downtown to an internship with a city councilman - isn't that a crime?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlames from the Mouthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The trees reach for the sky as they guzzle the sun
    As I scream to the Lord, 'They can't muzzle me son!'
    Let the government come,
    And bring all the King's men
    Because I live life several hours ahead like England
    But I bubble like the Continent
    With vowels and troubled consonants,
    And I've been waiting to piss on these fools like
    I'm incontinent
    But still I wait–on
    Because I want more than Day-tons;
    In fact I’m like Phaet-on
    I want the sun to play on.
    I can’t settle till I got more than I deserve and that’s my word,
    And go down in history as ‘a brilliant bastard with some nerve,’
    For going from some nerd
    To the last word that’s heard –
    Become the living Word like talking nouns and verbs
    And I want to be referred to as
    ‘The best that done-did-it’
    In plaques, on the shrines, at the places where I shitted
    I admit it:
    I got an addiction to grandiosity but only because my brain
    Is always working at such a high velocity
    It’s got to be a sign that I’ve got a golden mind,
    So I’ll be damned if any hand but my own ends up holding mine
    And my shine
    These days rivals the celestial –
    I got myself just in the door like the vestibule
    And terrestrial concerns
    Get clipped like side-burns
    Because knowledge is power and mine grows
    With every bit that I learn.
    I affirm,
    That its unfair for me to walk around
    But what else can a predator do but stalk the grounds?
    The talking sounds
    I hear in protest, sound no less
    Than Pharisees hating me and plotting on my death
    I can’t rest –
    Not until I feel my deal is finished
    And the ambition to which I listen is at least somewhat diminished,
    So fuck beginners!
    I’m a practiced professional
    And I’ll torch you on your porch
    With my dramatic confessionals
    Like I’m blessing you,
    Prometheus brought flames from the mount
    And I’ve been nice enough to bring the people flames from my mouth
    No doubt




    Submitted on 2005-03-02 07:47:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You write with so much passion
    ...where do you get your energy from?

    I wonder how you read this aloud... if it would sound more like bullets from the mouth than flames.

    I hate to repeat what other people say already...
    there's a lot of brilliance in your arrogance. I respect that, and also your talent with words and this very unique ability to make your 'poetry' concrete, from the foundations to the very top, from beginning to end.

    Um, this isn't conventional poetry (Like you didn't know this) about birds and trees and love, or depression or death...
    it's a declaration of life-as I read it.

    Well... that's all I have to say... I just got my nails done and its a [censored] to type. I always like to come through if I remember or see you on someone's favorite list, because most anything you have to say is... interesting, if it's not in the rafters with genius.

    ~Akhi~
    | Posted on 2005-04-11 00:00:00 | by Alize | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, my God...
    That IS smoooooth. That is really, really tight. It's short though, I was annoyed it ended so soon!

    I absolutely love the phonics here... this is so stong here :
    "But I bubble like the Continent
    With vowels and troubled consonants,
    And I've been waiting to piss on these fools like
    I'm incontinent
    But still I wait–on
    Because I want more than Day-tons;
    In fact I’m like Phaet-on
    I want the sun to play on."
    You start and your rhyme's clear from the beginning but this is where the first twist in the beat came in and it really flowed. I would absolutely [censored] at doing anything like this. It's... beyond my lyrical capacities, lol!
    You are such an arrogant fecker.
    It's great. I like how we are not given tidbits of particularshard when we read your poems, we're given the whole you and there's no room to pick and choose, we get all of your personality, like it or lump it.
    I like it. I like how you're smart and too old already and cynical but also optimistic, confident and flippant to the finish.
    "And I want to be referred to as
    ‘The best that done-did-it’
    In plaques, on the shrines, at the places where I [censored]ted"
    Hah. We have a lot of blue plaques like that...

    "James Joyce was here"...
    "Shard Shat Here"
    In the hallowed halls of Oxford, no less. Damn, you gotta keep that promise!
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]



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