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    dots Submission Name: "Old Fashion Time Machine"dots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/Happy
    Total Views: 654
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1324

       Again; off the top of my head, another free write. And i tried to use whatever those punctuations are called as well as possible, we all know it's not my strong suit.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Old Fashion Time Machine"dots

    The clink, clink, clink as you climb to the top.
    The child inside you climbs out,
    just before you drop.
    You can't stop;
    at a million miles an hour.
    So you scream and welcome the raw power.
    You laugh with your friend with hands in the air.
    Later you'll realize the great memory you share.
    Can't wait to see whats around the next bend.
    Every second, the rattle and shake.
    Keep telling yourself, you say it has breaks.
    And sudenly out of the blue;
    Into a tunnel, so dark you can't see
    your own hand in front of you.
    You are so freaking scared;
    you laugh like a kid.
    Just like you always did.
    Shoot out the tunnel into a gnarly curve.
    Into a double loop, then a hair pin turn.
    Laughing and high five-ing your friend;
    then back where you started again.
    You simply can't find;
    a more happy time;
    Than a day at the amusement park,
    to youthen your ageing heart;
    riding every single rollercoaster,
    remembering when you were so much younger.
    Nothing can take you back
    to your childhood;
    like a good old fashion
    wooden rollercoaster could....~L.t


    Submitted on 2005-03-02 07:58:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      heh... i know exactly what that feels like... most people do... the pure joy of getting the crap scared out of you... this is definately one of the most original works i have seen on ES... And your title works right along with the writing itself... An old fashioned time machine that really takes you back to the fun and stuff that you had when you were younger... We all like to try and live in the past memories that were so good And this (my favorite line) says that clearly...

    to youthen your ageing heart;

    Exquisite piece L.T. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      I was wondering if this piece was going to be some kinda sci-fi type of deal but was happy to find otherwise. I'm not too old myself, but i can relate to things like this that get transported back to the "back in the day" time. Well thought out write and good title too.

    "And sudenly out of the blue;"
    Suddenly is spelled wrong. Aside from that, awesome.


    P.S. Love the username.
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by MusingMinstrel | [ Reply to This ]
      me again...I was taken aback by the title and I liked how you ascribed it to a roller coaster. I think your descriptions are strong as I got many clear images in my head. I like that it wasn't trying to be something else, or be some kind of deep metaphor for something else. I thought it was freshly innocent coming from you- and out of most of your pieces that I have read, I thought it flowed the best. Made me think of when I was younger in junior high and all my friends worked at a local amusement park called Peony Park and we spent every waking hour we could there. The very first time I ever heard the song "Coming in the Air Tonight" was at that park in the Black Hole which was just a scrambler in the dark. Oh the exhillaration of the movement and the motion and my first makeout session that came along with it. Wow...see how you transported me back? Hee. Mags
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]

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