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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Separationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 1031
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeparationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    For all the seeking
    is He
    but within all
    Our childlike nature
    is She
    too revealed in all
    In seeking to become
    independent of It
    we are but separated
    as the Sun and the Moon
    in the moments
    before dawn
    Truly there is
    no separating
    man from
    Creation
    Love unites
    even that which is
    seemingly far
    in the vastness
    of
    One




    Submitted on 2004-03-30 17:42:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, however critique it, right? commas' for and a different format for a smoother read, but all in all, it's chill. nicely done
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I read this one twice! (In Kayla-speak, that's a compliment, not a what-in-the-world-was-that way). I loke the use of He, She, and It, and the caps. Loved the thought about sun and the moon before dawn. Great write. ;)

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep thoughts with an odd sense of logic locked in every five lines. Good. But I felt the order, and also the words you chose to express the emotion were a bit off. Though, I do really like it when you leave a reader thinking.
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]


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