[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Separationdots

    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 1057
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    For all the seeking
    is He
    but within all
    Our childlike nature
    is She
    too revealed in all
    In seeking to become
    independent of It
    we are but separated
    as the Sun and the Moon
    in the moments
    before dawn
    Truly there is
    no separating
    man from
    Love unites
    even that which is
    seemingly far
    in the vastness

    Submitted on 2004-03-30 17:42:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, however critique it, right? commas' for and a different format for a smoother read, but all in all, it's chill. nicely done
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I read this one twice! (In Kayla-speak, that's a compliment, not a what-in-the-world-was-that way). I loke the use of He, She, and It, and the caps. Loved the thought about sun and the moon before dawn. Great write. ;)

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep thoughts with an odd sense of logic locked in every five lines. Good. But I felt the order, and also the words you chose to express the emotion were a bit off. Though, I do really like it when you leave a reader thinking.
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Linger written by saartha
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Push written by JanePlane
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]