Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Separationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 63
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Love
    Total Views: 1071
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 463



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeparationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    For all the seeking
    is He
    but within all
    Our childlike nature
    is She
    too revealed in all
    In seeking to become
    independent of It
    we are but separated
    as the Sun and the Moon
    in the moments
    before dawn
    Truly there is
    no separating
    man from
    Creation
    Love unites
    even that which is
    seemingly far
    in the vastness
    of
    One




    Submitted on 2004-03-30 17:42:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, however critique it, right? commas' for and a different format for a smoother read, but all in all, it's chill. nicely done
    | Posted on 2006-03-15 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! I read this one twice! (In Kayla-speak, that's a compliment, not a what-in-the-world-was-that way). I loke the use of He, She, and It, and the caps. Loved the thought about sun and the moon before dawn. Great write. ;)

    ~ Niphredil
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by Niphredil | [ Reply to This ]
      Deep thoughts with an odd sense of logic locked in every five lines. Good. But I felt the order, and also the words you chose to express the emotion were a bit off. Though, I do really like it when you leave a reader thinking.
    | Posted on 2004-03-30 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    4887

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Linger written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    This written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry