[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Screaming From Each Cutdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 640

       This was inspired by Deadly Sauce...I was writing a comment to her and I felt a poem coming on...this is the result, I am thinking of revising it but I am not a big fan of that, it is like when I paint a picture, I can't stop untill it is finished and I have put emotions into it that should not come out or it would not be art...bah I am rambling. Enough of that...just let me know what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScreaming From Each Cutdots

    This is the first time I have seen my wrist without blood
    underneath the bracelets and longsleeves my arms are finally naked
    the scars
    they remind me
    they tempt me
    they scream to me
    remember the pain
    remember how it calmes you
    with each cut a tear was forced
    and you can't get to that place anymore
    rocking bak and forth
    blood spilling on the floor of the bathtub
    every cut telling a story
    this time they have gone to far
    I am screaming from each cut
    tempted by the pain
    tempted by the scars
    that won't go away

    Submitted on 2005-03-02 14:20:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked this peice. you used good description,especially in the 1st and 2nd line. Even though the first two lines are longer than the rest i liked the form, it sounds good. i'm unsure of what is happening in this peice though. at first i thought that she didnt cut herself again (because it talks about remembering and how it was tempting) and then i thought that she did cut herself again(because of these lines "blood spilling on the floor of the bathtub
    every cut telling a story
    this time they have gone to far
    I am screaming from each cut")
    and then in the end i thought that she didnt (becuase it talks about being tempted again and about the scars)...i dunno, it is a little unclear in that part. but i still thought that it was really good.
    | Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by _Joeysgirl_ | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wavelength written by saartha
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Linger written by saartha
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Fasade written by jackz
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Bond written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Every..... written by jackz
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]