this is an interesting poem. because it is so short im not sure of the meaning you are trying to convey. i do know the meaning i got from it.. it seems like god is talking to an apple tree or something and he is wanting it to grow and produce apples. the description provided gives me the picture of a warm summer day in the middle of kentucky and im twirling in in the sunlight and ripe red apples are falling on the ground next to me.
Were you wanting this to be a Haiku? Cuz as far as I know, that's 5-7-5 syllables and you aaaaalmost have it! Except your last line only has 4. But I still liked this alot. Alot is said in its shortness. There really isn't a need to ramble on sometimes, we can get something out in a nice short piece like this. I should try it... I guess cuz I talk alot in life, I write alot too, I dunno. I don't get what everybody wuz talking about with the whole 'yellow' thing. What's wrong with yellow? The sun is yellowish so we automatically call light yellow, I get it. At least I think I do. Ok in my head it makes sense but to explain it, maybe not so much. But I think you should keep Yellow. It's fine. It should be petals... pedals is like, gas pedals. Isn't petals just so much prettier? I like the way it ended, it wuz very sweet. Yearning for that flower to grow and blossom. Good job. Just add one more syllable to the last line and you'll have a great Haiku for all the Haiku lovers.
Submission Name: Gift
