Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Fate (or something like it)


Author: Memphis
ASL Info:    21/f/Right Here
Elite Ratio:    5.13 - 130 /158 /31
Words: 47
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1271
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 334



Description:


This is the product of a writing exercise I like to do. Written for fun and just for the sake of putting pen to paper.


Fate (or something like it)



In the midst of the sharp night
Two strangers brushed against each other.
Hurried and lost in dreams,
Uncertain and fearful of the recognition,
Ready to ignore the facts before them,
They kept going.
Slipping away from one another,
They prayed for purged memories and sleepless nights.




Submitted on 2005-03-02 18:41:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  So are you saying that they hope for sleepless nights because they don't want to cross paths in dreams again?

Also, what is the writing exercise? For me, when I'm struggling for inspiration I too tend to force myself to write in order to get the process going again. Typically it will lead to a less than desirable poem, but then the next one or one after that turns out pretty decent. I'm interested in your process.
| Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  I loved this. except for the last line. I would change it to sleep-filled nights instead of sleepless. I don't know about you, but I hate sleepless nights. deadndreaming said you wrote some great stuff. he wasn't lying. wonderful poem.
| Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
  im not really sure what message you are trying to send with this poem. it kinda seems like it really was for fun (like you said).
the thought is unconsistent and the flow is choppy.
this could be a good poem, but some work is needed
| Posted on 2005-03-02 00:00:00 | by jellybean4 | [ Reply to This ]
  It's as if you were reading my mind. Literally. I have felt this constant nagging of someone I've seen for weeks before. It comes and goes. I love the idea of this and the way that you were able to just write it. Not over-do or sugarcoat it. Excellent. You really got my current state of mind. Definately a favorite. ;)
-blt
| Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



48901