Dear Unborn,
I'm sorry I can't give you a name because I just didn't want you. I felt as though you would all too much to deal with. Paying for diapers, child support.. I don't have the time or the money. Sometimes I thougtht to myself while I was holding another woman's child. I used to think how cute they were and they gurgled and how you would be my precious child, but then I realzied staying up all night, comepleting my homework. I probably wouldnt get to continue and go to college and finish law school. But I guess my world crumbled a little too quickly, so I'll explain to you how it all began...
I had met your father in my church group, (how ironic). He was unlike anyone I had ever met. Our eyes connected and it was love, or at least I and him thought it was. We started dating, and the next thing you knew, we were talking about making our love stronger by making love. Later that night, I ended up with my body open, ready to take someone else's into it. It was so deep, full of emotion. His body was like a drug, and neither I nor him could turn it off. Our bodies were connected, forever joined. My eyes all over him, moans escaping from every breath. In perfect unison, the bed was rocking as if I were taking you, my unborn child, and rocking you to sleep. It wasn't a hard rock, but a steady beat. So sweet, and romantic. A candle's silouhette dancing next to us. It was unlike anything I had ever known, but as though, he was my first, which turned out to make you. But every night, for a long time, that whole room would be watching our moves. It was a puzzle, pushing to form one. I think your grandmother, or his mother heard us in there, but I'm not sure. She will never know the truth because I got rid of you. ..
Not after that did I know that in a dream you came to me, and told me you were going to make a difference in the world. I was ashamed of my own greed. Longing for no commitment, and here I have commmitted a sin. Murder most call it. Then, I called it, ' a mistake.' I didn't want you to ruin my life, so I ruined yours instead. But now, today, after I go back to realize I am pregnant again, I won't kill your brother, for yur father and I have married and all my plans were succeeded, but everyday, I think back about the tale of my unborn child. |