In the back of my mind as I read this piece I heard "Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin playing I could think of nothnig more to compliment this. Because I heard that in the back of my head as I read this piece I looked at it as if it were the woman he was singing about responding when there together at last and since he in song stated hed never sail off again, they are able to be together from then on living for each other. This was truly beautiful, there are pieces written about love that in the end leave that sense of longing, or they make you want to throw up cause its too much, but this I feel was perfect(for lack of a better word) . I have the image of two people sihouletted on a rock at the beach waves crashiong all around as the sun sets. Excellent work dear!-John
oh, bravo! another beautiful poem, i remember this one from your comment on one of my poems. this is just so beautiful and ethereal. perfect precious love, it is. wonderful.
we will live beyond our selves at last.
this is how i feel about my love. it is the most wonderful feeling of all. *sigh*
being lost is good with this form of terrain under your feet. and, to be free of matter while feeling such profound bliss... that makes life worth living. makes the minutes last longer.
i think one of the main reasons why people fear love is because of the possibilities... mostly, the risk of losing one's self, as you've mentioned, in some emotional whirlwind that could either kill you, break you or take you somewhere and fill your irrationality with reasons... mostly... reasons on why you should go on. sometimes... we find it hard to weigh things like this and the consequences are often gradual but heavy.
i'm not a big fan of love poetry but this is something i really admire. even the structure of the piece was unassailable to me.
my first impression was... well... with "oh love" i was like... "oh not again" but as it went on, it made a 3min (approximately) mark on me and... yeah... it was great. warm is the right word, actually. it was a good way to show the confusion, the internal and external chaos in love that we often look pass for the smiles, and the kisses and the fireplace romances, etc... etc...
This is excellent. I'd not checked out anything of yours for a long time. I'm sorry about that. I'm so behind at catching up on what I want to read.
living, breathing all of me; and we will live beyond our selves at last.
Lost in love one so vast.
This is really sexy, actually. You really do want to become one. Your rhyme is good. The only thing I can think to criticize is that I'm not sure about "our selves." It's tradtionally one word, but I know you may be using it ironically. Anyway, this is a nice write.
I think you did a good job defining the comlete selflessness it takes to truely love. Love is the one thing in live that truely does allow us to change forms and transcend the here and now. I think your poem explains the longing for that transcendence and beauty that washes you away and in your puts love in your place.
In general I'm very skeptical about love poetry cause it's such a cliché, but this is a fine example that proves me wrong. It's a swift, highly emotional and slightly melancholic piece written in an original way. It actually reminds me alot of the late 90s work of a band called Katatonia; their stuff was minimal yet very emotional (and depressive, too). Overall I really don't find any flaws in this, so I'll add it to my faves right away. It really is top quality work. Cheers, apoc--
Submission Name: Ocean Sway
