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    dots Submission Name: Under angel's wingsdots

    Author: Gothik
    Elite Ratio:    3.35 - 94/133/31
    Words: 40
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1235
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 278

       This one is very short but I think you can see the message.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnder angel's wingsdots

    I am standing in the dark
    Watching over you
    Spreading my wings over you
    Washing away your tears
    Bannishing your fears

    I made me an angel
    I shall now watch over you
    Caressing your skin
    Protecting you

    Submitted on 2005-03-03 02:58:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm, Cuddledumplin's comment kind of took me back a step. I felt your love, your passion, your need to protect this thing that holds your heart, to either make it or break it. I actually visualized the spreading of the wings around her, holding her close, keeping her from harm. I thought it was beautiful. I think it was the perfect length, it left enough to be imagined, but not to where we didn't understand. I truly liked this one.

    I wish I had read this sooner
    | Posted on 2005-11-03 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
      yep, to the point for sure, you didn't have to ryhme for it to come together,
    kinda self-explainitory, huh?
    well, I liked it...

    good job

    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      In your first verse I was under the impression your were overly protective of someone, then the second verse made it sound like you commited suicide to become this angel. The picture on your site gives the poem even a more errier overtone as it looks like death killed the angel. All in all I'd say it needs more work on telling that story in more detail
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, according to all I know about religion, angels never were people, so the best you could hope for would be a friendly ghost. You misspelled banishing too. I don't know. This sounds obsessive and sick. I guess that's what you wanted though. There are a few too many you's too. Perhaps you could rewrite this to avoid that redundancy.
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so sweet. Yes, it is short, but to the point and the message is quite clear. And the imagery is wonderful. I can just see you protecting your beloved angel.
    You did a fantastic job with this poem. Keep up the great work.

    How are you. I haven't talked to in awhile. Let me know how you're doing.

    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by Rain | [ Reply to This ]

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