"The Thrill of Defeat" -------------------------------------------
How can I love what is so cold?
Why should I rise above
the expectancies that were told?
How can I follow what
simply cannot lead?
Why should I swallow
the pain that's destined to proceed?
How can I just be Me?
When no one will just
leave me be?
Everything I think I understand;
My grasp, doesn't last, and the chance
slips through my hands.
For me to overcome;
simply isn't reality.
For Victory has become too foreign.
And Defeat is where I rest comfortably.
"This is the Agony of Victory
And the Thrill of Defeat"
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L A M E M A N S T E R M S
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I totally understand this which is probably a sad revelation but I dare not look too deep. very unique. a study for commitment phobes and lazy lovers alike. no offense of course. I just see me and my faults all over this poem. great job.
I really enjoyed reading this second stanza. I've totally felt that way before. I like how this poem is filled with what seem to be questions that torment you and beg for answers that perhaps you can't give or are on willing to except. Only thing is that the three stanza don't connect to each other or seem to be related to one another. And i don't get the whole thrill of defeat concept. What is it that's defeating you. The questions? There answers? Yourself? And what's so thrilling about any of this? Please explain. I'd appreciate it.
P.S. I've read that info on hiakus. It's cool how we can start something and get all this neat feed back from around the contry and stuff.
okay, so here goes. i think this could use a little fine tuning, but i wont lend suggestions or throw out meaningless commentary because its simple stuff that i am sure wouldnt change the gist of the poem.
Ne hoo (its 5 am so bare with me)
i really liked this write a lot. it spoke volumes to something that everyone can understand, and in very few words.
these lines were great: "How can I just be Me? When no one will just leave me be?" Nice sentiment.
Okay so now you are officially a fave and a stalkee!
Submission Name: "The Thrill of Defeat"
