I totally understand this which is probably a sad revelation but I dare not look too deep. very unique. a study for commitment phobes and lazy lovers alike. no offense of course. I just see me and my faults all over this poem. great job.
I really enjoyed reading this second stanza. I've totally felt that way before. I like how this poem is filled with what seem to be questions that torment you and beg for answers that perhaps you can't give or are on willing to except. Only thing is that the three stanza don't connect to each other or seem to be related to one another. And i don't get the whole thrill of defeat concept. What is it that's defeating you. The questions? There answers? Yourself? And what's so thrilling about any of this? Please explain. I'd appreciate it.
P.S. I've read that info on hiakus. It's cool how we can start something and get all this neat feed back from around the contry and stuff.
okay, so here goes. i think this could use a little fine tuning, but i wont lend suggestions or throw out meaningless commentary because its simple stuff that i am sure wouldnt change the gist of the poem.
Ne hoo (its 5 am so bare with me)
i really liked this write a lot. it spoke volumes to something that everyone can understand, and in very few words.
these lines were great: "How can I just be Me? When no one will just leave me be?" Nice sentiment.
Okay so now you are officially a fave and a stalkee!