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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Acrylic Tearsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 1030
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702



    Description:
       This is something I think that every artist can realate to...painting from the heart. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAcrylic Tearsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strandling the line between reality and insane
    I bled the paint into life
    acrylic tears feel my pain
    I only cry at night

    trapped in a world of blak and white
    it's comfortable underneath the canvas of starts
    we share wounds but not a life
    when you look at her face you see my heart

    I stand with the right to judge
    paintbrush,control, I rule the world
    this picture doesn't look like much
    but no one really understood

    stradling the line between reality and insane
    black and white so you don't believe
    I painted the picture using pain
    and in the end I painted me




    Submitted on 2005-03-03 13:51:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think that this is a great piece. it truly does portray the real pains of the artist. you could have developed the theme in a stronger manner, but, overall, this was a good write. maybe you used ideas that were a bit too cliché. however, the ending was very nice. you used some exceptional imagery, and "I painted the picture using pain and in the end I painted me" was the best part of the entire work. it really summed up all of the thoughts behind the poem very well. keep up the good work! ^_^
    ~*dark_and_dreary*~
    | Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by dark_and_dreary | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi, I don't know why nobody bothered to comment on this, it's well worth a comment or two!
    I think you've done a fairly good job with a very difficult subject. Painting does come from inside, and I love some of your imagery in describing the artist's feelings:
    'I bled the paint into life'
    very dramatic and effective way of describing the anguish of the artist.
    'it's comfortable underneath the canvas of starts'
    I didn't understand this line, I'm guessing it's a typo, and it's a canvas of stars, describing the night sky? (shows how important it is to REALLY check your work before you post it, at least three times)
    'when you look at her face you see my heart'
    this is a fabulous line, and a beautiful thought, I guess you must be a painter to understand so well how an artist feels as he/she tries to create the painting.
    'I painted the picture using pain
    and in the end I painted me'
    A terrific ending, a lot of poems finish badly after being very good, but this is a great finish. Well, I've probably raved on enough for now, great job, I love it, and remember, Spellcheck! Be happy, Graeme.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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