[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Acrylic Tearsdots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Mirror or Mask
    Total Views: 1052
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702

       This is something I think that every artist can realate to...painting from the heart. Tell me what you think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAcrylic Tearsdots

    Strandling the line between reality and insane
    I bled the paint into life
    acrylic tears feel my pain
    I only cry at night

    trapped in a world of blak and white
    it's comfortable underneath the canvas of starts
    we share wounds but not a life
    when you look at her face you see my heart

    I stand with the right to judge
    paintbrush,control, I rule the world
    this picture doesn't look like much
    but no one really understood

    stradling the line between reality and insane
    black and white so you don't believe
    I painted the picture using pain
    and in the end I painted me

    Submitted on 2005-03-03 13:51:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i think that this is a great piece. it truly does portray the real pains of the artist. you could have developed the theme in a stronger manner, but, overall, this was a good write. maybe you used ideas that were a bit too cliché. however, the ending was very nice. you used some exceptional imagery, and "I painted the picture using pain and in the end I painted me" was the best part of the entire work. it really summed up all of the thoughts behind the poem very well. keep up the good work! ^_^
    | Posted on 2005-04-01 00:00:00 | by dark_and_dreary | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi, I don't know why nobody bothered to comment on this, it's well worth a comment or two!
    I think you've done a fairly good job with a very difficult subject. Painting does come from inside, and I love some of your imagery in describing the artist's feelings:
    'I bled the paint into life'
    very dramatic and effective way of describing the anguish of the artist.
    'it's comfortable underneath the canvas of starts'
    I didn't understand this line, I'm guessing it's a typo, and it's a canvas of stars, describing the night sky? (shows how important it is to REALLY check your work before you post it, at least three times)
    'when you look at her face you see my heart'
    this is a fabulous line, and a beautiful thought, I guess you must be a painter to understand so well how an artist feels as he/she tries to create the painting.
    'I painted the picture using pain
    and in the end I painted me'
    A terrific ending, a lot of poems finish badly after being very good, but this is a great finish. Well, I've probably raved on enough for now, great job, I love it, and remember, Spellcheck! Be happy, Graeme.
    | Posted on 2005-03-22 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Records I written by Raphael
    Yes written by poetotoe
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Formal Jen written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]