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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Day in Day outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aknahlij_d 1
    ASL Info:    17/Male/Loueezy
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 369/515/135
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Haiku/
    Total Views: 324
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 461



    Description:
       the neverending battle between me and my inner demon


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDay in Day outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i laid aware of
    the brazen juggernaut that
    lies ahead of me

    his eyes bronze as the
    setting circle of fire
    locked tightly on me

    i withheld my name
    and gave the giant option:
    to kill or be killed

    i was willing to
    die and he was willing to
    deliver it here

    sitting in a gaze
    i leaped forward and uttered
    "you have won today"




    Submitted on 2005-03-03 15:27:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      What a lot of people don't know is that the Heckler Loves to read Haikus, especially one's that make total and absolute sense...this one captivated in that there is a battle about to go down between david and goliath..the ending was one that I didn't expect and that goes a long way. When you suprise the reader its always a good thing, since it forces them to think. Good write.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by SKillz_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Unique 5-7-5 merging. And it tells a vivd detailed story with an ending that reminds me of the indian who decided "today is not a good day to die" because it was raining lol. You would have had to see the movie maybe to understand that last remark lol any how this
    sounded almost like david and goliath but nah David killed Goliath so...Great Job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a unique idea with the haiku thing. I am not sure that each stanza is haiku though. It was a nice poem however as far as the sory goes. What was this thing anyway?

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    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by xtremegentleman | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this haiku...haikus are usually nature based, but who the [censored] cares... Unless the thing you speak of is the sun...

    I like this and i dont think ive ever seen anybody put haikus together as a whole...

    very original,
    me likey
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by ariesmind | [ Reply to This ]



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