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    dots Submission Name: Watching Youdots

    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.8 - 23/161/138
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1128
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 651


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWatching Youdots

    Watching You

    Last night I watched you
    Deep in my dreams
    Your beauty confounds me
    As wrong as it seems
    I know weíre apart
    youíre trying to move on
    And that Iím also paired with
    Another someone
    But I was in love
    And I think I still am
    Itís like my heart is re-broken
    Over and over again
    I make my decisions
    On what I think is right
    But I donít know how
    To avoid my heartís sight
    I hope dreaming isnít wrong,
    Because Iíll be seeing you tonight;
    This darkness Iím encased in,
    Will again yield to your light.

    Submitted on 2005-03-03 20:04:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I could write a song for this one.
    | Posted on 2015-07-28 00:00:00 | by happymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one the best. It's structure reflects it's sentiment appropriately and it's heartfelt.

    I think it's less lyrical (song wise) as some of the other one's are and that's a good thing for this poem. But it still has a rhythem that the words consistently work with. Defiantly the best.
    | Posted on 2007-09-18 00:00:00 | by Morsketch | [ Reply to This ]
      ... I like this. I don't know what it is exactly, but, it feels familiar in a good way. I hear my sister and her friend's talking about their 'old' boyfriends or just some other person they loved this way.
    I don't want a second. I want to keep the first. Is that right? Can I get away with that? Sigh.
    I don't know but, do guys get tired of their girls more often than girls of their guys? Or...uh...

    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      well... depends... i umm.. for one dont know how often girls get tired of guys... but there are exception in love apparentally. the person this was directed to isn't tired of me or me her... we just had some problems and she moved (moved back now) and now we are seeing other people... its just.. weird. Thanks for the post, i feel alot better after writing this. -- its true by the way (apparentally^)
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by BlazeFlamme | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey just wanted to say that im sorry for you felling this way and im here for you if you need me help with this....I love the poem...its great and It flows well. Even you know that i didnt post to tell you what i though about it...But i like it...i have had worse. but this ranks up there with some of the better ones that i have hurd from people. 2 thumbs up

    Your friend till the end
    InYuco Katan
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by InYuco Katan | [ Reply to This ]
      I really relate to this poem. I think that your work shows form and great possibilities. I think that you should try some more vague imagery.
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by sistersinister | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. It really sounds like a song to me. One suggestion-I would remove the "And" at the beginning of "And youíre trying to move on". I think it would read better that way. Thanks for posting this. Very touching.
    | Posted on 2005-03-03 00:00:00 | by Amelit | [ Reply to This ]

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