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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: R.I.P. Tyronedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: C. Flava
    ASL Info:    19/M/ILLINOIS
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 87/117/28
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 865
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 934



    Description:
       It's a poem I that I felt I should've wrote a long time ago so here it is. 1 love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsR.I.P. Tyronedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's Hard to forget your best friend
    Even if there gone the friendship will never end
    You showed me just about everything I know
    I even told you when I fucked my first ho.

    You helped me ignore the hardships of my life
    You even stayed my friend after our first fight
    I believe that you still had much to teach me
    But it's sad your life was cut short and you had to leave me.

    I know that you just didn't leave me you left yo family including your little brother
    But I promise as long as i'm in this world i'll make sure that know one hurts your little brother or your mother.

    I know that your watching down on me and I appriciate it
    Because sometimes I swear I just can't handle this life and all this bullshit
    So until the day we meet again
    I'll keep your memory alive my best friend.




    Submitted on 2005-03-04 02:09:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      What I like about you is that you aren't afraid to use explicit words. I know that a lot of people hate on that, but me personally...it allows more emotion to show through the piece. You are being yourself and writing as though you are speaking and that allows me to see more of who you are.

    Great write!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-05-10 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this...but once again, i feel as though it could have said a lot more if it didnt have to rhyme. There are certain poems that should rhyme and some that should not. I feel that this is one that should not rhyme because i feel that you could so a lot more if it didnt.
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your poem and my favorite lines are

    "It's Hard to forget your best friend
    Even if there gone the friendship will never end"

    I feel the same way about my mother, it's still hard not to call her cell phone and let her know when I coming home or going somewhere. It doesn't seem right to walk into my room without her presence still there... I also feel your lines:

    "I know that your watching down on me and I appriciate it
    Because sometimes I swear I just can't handle this life and all this bull[censored]
    So until the day we meet again
    I'll keep your memory alive my best friend."

    Times when I'm alone I feel I can't handle it, but I have to be strong for my family so I always get over it. Well enough before you make me break down and start crying. I also want you to know this is going on my favorites.
    | Posted on 2005-03-31 00:00:00 | by Charlenee | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, this is very touching, Flava! I know how hard it is having someone you care about so much be taken away. Hmm, I have some suggestions as to the formatting. Here, I'll post ur poem with my corrections in little [ ]...


    It's [h]ard to forget your best friend[,]
    Even if [their] gone the friendship will never end[.]
    You showed me just about everything I know[,]
    I even told you when I [censored]ed my first ho.

    You helped me ignore the hardships of my life[,]
    You even stayed my friend after our first fight[.]
    I believe that you still had much to teach me[,]
    But it's sad your life was cut short and you had to leave me.

    I know that you [didn't leave just me][,]
    [Y]ou left [your] family[-]
    Including your little brother[.]
    But I promise as long as [I]'m in this world
    [I]'ll make sure that [no] one hurts your [him] or your mother.

    I know that [you're] watching down on me
    [A]nd I appriciate it[,]
    Because sometimes I swear I just can't handle [L]ife and all this bull[censored]
    So until the day we meet again[,]
    I'll keep your memory alive[-]
    [M]y best friend.


    Alright. Done. LOL! Now, this is just me tryin to polish it up. Just suggestions, you know? So you can take some or none of them, whatever you want. Anyhow, very sweet. I'm sure Tyrone is proud of his best friend.
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by I_Bleed_Ink | [ Reply to This ]
      What can i say. This is a very good memoriam to your friend. So very sorry that it happend but I am happy to see that you grew from it. I also understand what you mean when you said to write from deep emotion. I am sure your friend is smiling on you..
    you do seem to be a ray of light and a beem of enlightenment.
    Live and love life...
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by smalltown | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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