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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Four Word Shockdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Hesitation
    ASL Info:    22 Male Alaska
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 20/25/11
    Words: 245
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1219



    Description:
       This is a short situation that passed threw my mind and threw my feelings. It is not real or have even come close to real.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFour Word Shockdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Rain runs down my face and I can barely feel it. Look at the sky; it burns red. The color of passion the color of life that runs threw your veins and mine. Coolness of the drops seems to just simmer away from me as I watch your way lips move, and hear the sounds of the crescent winds going threw the air as small currents. Hear the sweat sounds of the one who excites my emotions and invokes the willing to hold and cherish the very being in front of me. I can no longer watch in torment, please come forward and help me, in this situation. For I do not know what has come over me, as the rest of the world seems to diminish itself to a blur rubbed away by the very thought of your embrace. I no longer feel the effects of the outside world. Only you and the indescribable emotion you have cast on me. I accidentally let the three most meaningful words to me slip out. I panic, I become flimsy, begin to loose control of my thoughts. As I no longer hear the stunning of your words, but in its place I see you pause and look at me deeply, I stare into your eyes and you into mine. I get the most odd feeling of wonder, and curiosity. Then from never before spoken from you to me, I hear you say, I love you too.




    Submitted on 2005-03-04 02:23:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love this poem! its sweet
    | Posted on 2006-08-13 00:00:00 | by poetinprogress | [ Reply to This ]
      blake, this is awesome. please don't tell me who you said it to.
    | Posted on 2006-09-10 00:00:00 | by Hesitation | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the part: I accidentally let the three most meaningful words to me slip out. I panic, I become flimsy, begin to loose control of my thoughts. because it reminds me of something similar that i've done. but any ways, you write tons better than me
    | Posted on 2005-07-10 00:00:00 | by sword stalker | [ Reply to This ]
      I like your descriptive word and the way you used them. You sound like yuo are in love because you described in an interresting.
    | Posted on 2005-03-04 00:00:00 | by sheltie | [ Reply to This ]
      hey! good job it's not to bad for a first go at poetry. i like the way you rote it and it has good flow. but some of the parts were kinda unclear like this one:
    as I watch your way lips move
    it doesnt work vrey well. any way its very romantic. and it's original too. i dont usualy read love poetry because it bores me but this one is different from the rest. my favorite part is this last part:I accidentally let the three most meaningful words to me slip out. I panic, I become flimsy, begin to loose control of my thoughts. As I no longer hear the stunning of your words, but in its place I see you pause and look at me deeply, I stare into your eyes and you into mine. I get the most odd feeling of wonder, and curiosity. Then from never before spoken from you to me, I hear you say, I love you too.
    good job i didnt know you could rite like this!
    mheracai
    | Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by Saphire Twiligh | [ Reply to This ]


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