Description: Well, I couldn't think of a title, so........The reason there are quotations is because I meant it to be spoken by a man to the one he would die for..........I could change it, but that's the way I started it, so I will leave it. I'll give it a temporary title, so give me advice on titles, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Samantha
I Shall Take Care of You -------------------------------------------
"How exquisite you are!
Your tragedy is of immeasureable pleasure,
and I cannot recall any image other than your face:
the mournful eyes, perfect nose, and pouting scarlet lips.................
Won't you reach me with those chilly hands?
Come with me and never again will your eyes turn empty when you gaze out the window.
Never again shall you be without arms to envelop your trembling body.......
Never again shall your tears fall onto the floor, for I will drink them and take them into my body as my own sorrow.
O you are so very weary!
Let me take you with me into my place of comfort.
I will wrap you in wine-colored sheets
and you will sweat out your sickness."
Its like a pretty painting used for the latest paper towel design. I'd rather you serve me up your love on a dinner plate...or with a blowjob. Forgive me, I'm bitter. My feet are freezing. But this isn't one of your better writes. Of course its sweet, and if ever assigned a true recipiant, its surely to be cherished. But it falls through the cracks that separate poetry and prose, lending no hand with which to follow.
Ahhh, here it is again, the intermingled sweet with the sour . . . I can't quite figure out the mix, not yet. I've heard of ppl who derive pleasure from pain, but pain from pleasure is a new one on me! :) In case what I mean is unclear, let me give an example or three:
"Your tragedy is of immeasureable pleasure,"
and
"Won't you reach me with those chilly hands?"
and even,
"Let me take you with me into my place of comfort. I will wrap you in wine-colored sheets and you will sweat out your sickness."
Interesting blend, Sam. I don't think I've ever come across anything quite like it.
Awww... I love this, Sam! This is a classic! Very nice work, love. As far as title suggestions, the only thing I could come up with would be "Maiden Malady" or something of that nature. Once again, a great piece. Hope to hear more from you!
No one commented? whoa! absolutely amazing to me. I understand it. You really must love them. It reminds me of an older Evanescence song. Really good. I like it. Its dark, but beautiful. A title? lets see... Sweat the Sickness? or how about Sorrowed Dark Lady? Just a thought.
Submission Name: I Shall Take Care of You
