Description: i was driving to school and the woman in the small ford focus in front of me decided to put her german shephard in the trunk area. this really upset me.
Bitch -------------------------------------------
as the car reds and green through traffic
you grasp for stability.
i wonder if she knows...
perhaps.
It's pretty interesting how you were inspired to write this from seeing what you mentioned in your discription. In just four short lines you painted a pretty full picture. A car driving along unassumingly, meanwhile this animal is strugling to grasp its footing.
You know, i read the poem before i read the discription and before the discription kinda told me where your head was when you wrote this. my mind pictured a couple driving down some road is silence. The guy ( and again this was all just some picture in my mind) is thinking to himself that he wishes the girl he was with would make a commitment and it's driving him crazy that they havent defined their relationship in any clear terms, and he's like i wonder if she knows how crazy she is driving me. "Perhaps" she does and she likes it.
The bad karam would have been her life void of anything solid and real due to the games she chooses to play.
Again though, just me. I think i may have read this poem before and i guess i thought i commented on it but didn't. Nonetheless this is a great format of writing. I've experimented with the "short and sweet" myself: "eyes full of tears" and "Forward towards forever" Maybe you d check 'um out.
hmmmmmmmmmmm well I I well I think that um...well I eh ok now that I got that out I think I can think now, ok first off I dont think you need [as the car] its pretty self explanitory I think that going throughtr redws and yellowsas nd thingds to that nature are frerefering to a car then now I know you more than likely intended this to be a short piece but this leaves an awfull loy to the imagination-my imagination so what I got was me driving through intersections and blowing red lights one after another and what do I see my ex on the corner about to cross the street . And mind you this ex is the one who cheated on me so I am not exactly having pleasent thoughts about this broad at that particular moment so IU punched it down abd raxced towards her and that is when I asked myself I wonder if she believes in Karma? Howz that HUhu HUHUHUHJU L A M E M A N S T E R M S
i liked this piece. i know a lot of animal lovers here in new york that would not have liked seeing that either.
some of my friends would not have handled that so well you on the other hhand wrote it short and sweet and the reds and greens were very well a common sense thing a driver in the city would have to pick up on. like it on the short stuff short stuff works not to short or to tall just tall enuff to stand on my tip toes to kiss er read
Submission Name: Bitch
