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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hidden Desiredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indalecio
    ASL Info:    16/male/Philippines
    Elite Ratio:    2.09 - 5/9/3
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 638
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1209



    Description:
       My 2nd work ^___^ this was inspired by the story of a friend,so it may not turn out good >_<


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHidden Desiredots
    -------------------------------------------


    All this time,I've been in love with you
    I just can't show you these feelings are true

    It seems so easy to be with you as a friend
    But I want to show my love all the time we spend

    I see you act on stage every night I can
    But it pains me to see you with 'her' again

    That sly tramp who plays Juliet
    and that kiss you shared,I can't forget

    But I can't even compare myself to her
    No matter how I look at it,she is much better

    A famous and stunning stage actress
    to a simple girl,without any talent to harness

    All I can do is watch from backstage
    Though at times,my heart is filled with rage

    Everytime I see that kiss you give Juliet,
    My eyes flare up,though inside I fret...

    Frightened,that for that tramp,you'd fall
    and stomp on my feelings like it was nothing at all

    Oh my sweet Romeo...Why can't you see?
    The one who truly loves you is me...

    But all I can do for now is wait...
    And pray that someday...
    we'd be together by fate....




    Submitted on 2005-03-04 19:11:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      good poem. nice rhythm. I like the emotions involved. love and hate all at once. well done esp at a young age u show much maturity.

    keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by ladyravnos316 | [ Reply to This ]
      The whole Romeo and Juliet thing really worked well with this poem! I find it totally original that you thought of it that way and I tip my hat to you! I don't know much about poetry, but all the commas used in this particular piece really started to annoy me after awhile, and they broke (for me anyway) the whole rhythm of the poem. All in all, great job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by Gothic Tigress | [ Reply to This ]


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