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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Unruly Puppetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pinurplepassion
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere in TX
    Elite Ratio:    5.92 - 165/146/17
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1239
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1609



    Description:
       I dont know WTF is going on here. Just kinda feel this way you know, stuck in a really messed up situation (its not as bad as it sounds, i used a little dramatic license here). But anyway, I just sat down and spit a little venom, quick rough draft and all so do to me what you must. Seems I am a glutton for punishment this morning.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Unruly Puppetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dont know when it changed,
    When I started being to blame,
    For that thing YOU "couldn't" do.
    You used to look inside of me,
    Like I was a treasure chest,
    And you had the only map.
    You could ignite me into ecstacy.
    The puppet master....the master,
    Pulling all the right stings.

    Where did I go wrong?

    Now I've turned invisible,
    Like I have to be someone else.
    You pretend I'm your whore,
    Long enough to force your way,
    Inside the place you once worshiped.
    You make my swollen nipples bleed,
    And I find its getting hard to breath,
    With my head bouncing like a basketball
    Between your hairy, muscled legs.

    I feel vomit rise into my throat,
    As I think of the way that you taste,
    And how I used to love that taste,
    Like it was some kind of miracle cure,
    For the wrongs of the world....my world.
    And to think, you son of a bitch,
    That you wouldnt give a half a damn,
    If I did the same for him tonight,
    And you again tomorrow.

    This is twisted.

    I've got to get away from here,
    A place where you always know,
    That I will be waiting for you.
    Oh master......master....master,
    Mastur-bate until your fingers bleed,
    I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING PUPPET!
    Ohhh don't look so shocked, MY pet,
    You "can't" love me and I WON'T beg.
    My knees are too damn sore.





    Submitted on 2005-03-05 08:10:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You get 10 plus for shocking this middle aged grandmother with this very descriptive racey (lose at words here lol!) wwooh... ah let me regain my composure whewwh. Ah Ah let me read another of your poems and get back with you lol ~always with love Cheryl~
    | Posted on 2005-03-26 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey pinurplepassion

    I have looked at the first two stanzas and tried to work on your flow. What do you think ???

    I would like to know….

    Dont know when it changed,
    When I started being blamed
    For that thing YOU "couldn't" do.
    For what you didn’t say
    You used to look inside,
    Liked my treasured chest,
    Ignited me into ecstasy
    - Puppet master –
    Pulling my stings….

    I've turned invisible,
    Had to be someone else.
    Pretended to be your whore,
    Forcing your way, inside
    You once worshiped.
    My swollen nipples bleed,
    I find it hard to breath,
    Veil my head are still bouncing
    Between your hairy, muscled legs.

    Keep writing ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      Brava! *applauds* very fu<king nice. this is a superbly feisty piece- with a touch of feminist sadism... and... do i detect a small hint of domination? i think i do! 'With my head bouncing like a basketball/Between your hairy, muscled legs' i think would have to be my favorite line... very feisty... very-very! this rocks, grrrl. i don't think anything needs changed, really- i am a fan of your little one-liners tucked in there... thanks for the fu<king read- and i hope things get better- even overdramaticized as it might be- still doesn't sound like a slice of heaven- good luck- and at least it inspired this wonderfully vulgar poetry! *md*
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Vulgar, but hey you got the point across. You dont like being [censored]ed around. Very nice describing the vomit feeling when you thought of him. Ill have to say you don't need to use any kind of cursing to get your point across. Thats the way I would do it, you can make a person understand the way you feel without having to use "[censored]" at all :). Thats all I really have to say.

    mitchy
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by MuckyMuckpoop | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey pinurplepassion

    Nice poem, right from heart of an angry/sore writer ;0) I do not know how to make a proper comment, because this is so different form what I normally make, so honest, so f…….. angry, but even though I find some nice details, that really are interesting. “You could ignite me into ecstasy, pulling all the right stings”, “You make my swollen nipples bleed, And I find its getting hard to breath, With my head bouncing like a basketball Between your hairy, muscled legs.” And “Oh master...master...master, Mastur-bate until your fingers bleed, I'M NOT YOUR [censored]ING PUPPET!” Nice ;0)

    Keep writing ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      Umm...hehehe..this is quite interesting. Uber honest. I like that. Yes, as everyone's said, "vulgar" but it does add spice to it. Geez...certain descriptions made me blush. This guy sounds like a real frik, lady. I know for sure that no one's ever getting the chance to treat me anywhere near that way. I would cut his manhood first. Ahh..well, I'm getting angrier just replaying the injustice done here, (even though it might not be as bad as you've portrayed here). His indifference towards the concept of faithfulness is what irks me the most. He doesnt' care at all who you do, just as long as he gets his share. Ugh! Ok, i'm shutting up.

    Nice work...
    Suven
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by Suven7 | [ Reply to This ]
      bravo cuz get it all out who the hell pissed you off by the way cause i need to get a plane ticket and no i dont hate it its not like what you ussually do but hey that might be a good thing
    | Posted on 2005-03-05 00:00:00 | by Georgia Gurl | [ Reply to This ]


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