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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stranded (Chapter 4)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Deadly Sauce
    ASL Info:    18--lady--NY
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 59/77/31
    Words: 1140
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 295
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 6441



    Description:
       This is the last chapter I wrote...PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I SHOULD KEEP GOING! Any and all suggestions are welcome and greatly appreciated!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStranded (Chapter 4)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    “Hey you!! Get off ma’ islan’, man! I don’ want no poachas roun’ here!!”

    Just as I looked up from my rediscovered luggage, I spotted the lanky black man storming up to me. I put my hands up in a gesture of innocence.

    “Look…I don’t mean to intrude on your little island here, but I’m sorta stranded and have no way outta here, so just chill.”

    “Awww…you’s jus’ a child. I’m sorry I scared ya… I jus’ been getting so many poachas ‘round ma’ island here…iz my little paradise, ya know what I mean?” The man apologized in his heavy Jamaican accent. It sort of reminded me of the commercials for the psychic phone friends that Shannon, Kris, and I used to call for fun, which made me begin to really miss home.

    “Hey, it’s cool, man. Look, my name’s Adam, and you are…?”

    “Oh, so sorry, ma’ name is…ma’ name is Joe.”

    “Joe…is that short for something?”

    “I do not know. I did not know ma’ paren’s, and ma fosta’ paren’s did not even use ma’ name. Dey treated me worse den da family pitbull…so I ran away, rented a boat, and fell a-sleep…next thin’ I knows, I was here. Now I live here and iz all mine, everythin’ you see. Dare is plenty to eat and no reason for me to leave. I have da company of da birds and da dolphins, and even a few monkeys up in dem trees. And I have decided, jus’ now, that I would like you to call me Joe. You see, bein’ all alone, I did not need a name before.”

    “Oh,” I responded, feeling sorry for the man. “Hey, is there anything good to eat on this heap of sand?” I added hungrily.

    “Oh, how rude a me…righ’ dis way…” Joe turned and gestured towards a small hill. I couldn’t see anything where the man had been pointing, but didn’t see any point in questioning the man’s sanity, as I had no other way of getting food.

    “Uh, hey, could you help us out with our bags here?” I asked.

    “Us? I don’ see nobody next to ya’…” Joe responded, puzzled.

    “Oh sorry, the girl over there…” I spun around and pointed towards the big palm tree where Rachel had taken her stuff, but now she was nowhere to be seen.

    “Well, she was there a minute ago…” I added, starting to get worried that Rachel had wandered off. I figured that running off looking for her wouldn’t work so I turned to Joe, “Hey why don’t we go to you little hut or something and then we can come back and find her. No point in leaving our bags out to get pecked by seagulls.”

    “Oh, don’ worry. Dare ain’ no seagulls roun’ here…too fa’ from da main lan’ for dem. If dey don’ find food, dey don’ goes no furtha.” Joe informed me.

    I pulled on my repacked book bag and grabbed two small suitcases. Joe grabbed the remaining two suitcases. I looked over to where Rachel had been and discovered that her book bag was gone. She must have taken it with her, I thought. Maybe she saw a monkey or something…or maybe something more dangerous…


    Kris thought about going up to the man and finding out who he was, but then it struck him. “He’s an FBI agent, duh!” Kris said to himself, realizing his unnecessary alert.

    He continued quickly to Shannon’s house, up her front steps and rang the doorbell. He could barely hear the faint ding dong-ding dong of the doorbell over the thumping of his heart. He only hoped that someone would be there to let him in.

    Shannon cracked open the door and was relieved to see Kris there. She flung the door open the rest of the way and then unlocked the screen door to let him inside.

    “I’m so glad you’re here,” she sobbed. “You have no idea!”

    She had been crying, Kris could tell, partially from the black mascara dried on her cheeks, but she was still a bit shaky.

    “Well, I might have some idea,” Kris added jokingly. “Adam’s my friend too you know.”

    “Oh I know that, but it’s just that he was…” She trailed off, realizing she had already said too much.

    “He was what? He was our friend…right? Is there something you want to tell me about?” Kris quickly inquired.

    Shannon knew there was no turning back now. “Here, come in. I guess there’s some stuff I need to tell you about…”


    After dropping off the bags at Joe’s humble hut, I decided it was better to look for Rachel before it got too dark. The skay was already turning gorgeous shades of deep reds and oranges. I knew it wouldn’t be more than an hour until it would be pitch black and nearly impossible to find her. I turned around to find Joe rummaging through a large cage-like basket that was holding what looked like tools.

    “Watcha doin’ Joe? I question, becoming scared at his hurried pace.

    “We’s gonna need tools and such if we’s gonna get through them tall plants. Dey is always tangled and trippin’ me at night.” He responded, quite proud of his acquired wisdom.

    It was logical, but I thought he would be doing all the cutting. I was done with this thought the second he nearly speared my arm trying to pass me my gear.


    Kris sat quickly on Shannon’s huge pink beanbag chair. He had spent the last 30 seconds going through the possibilities of what Shannon’s last words had meant. “I guess there’s some stuff I need to tell you about.” Their friendship was so neutral, so perfect, and now it would be changed forever. Head in his hands, Kris tried to think straight and take what was about to come.

    “Don’t worry. It’s not as bad as you think.” Shannon said, realizing Kris’ obvious discomfort with the situation.

    “You see, me and Adam ‘experimented’,” Shannon continued, motioning the quotations on “experimented” with her fingers. “It was over a year ago, but recently we began getting closer again.” She began tearing at the thought. She felt behind her for her bed and sat slowly.

    “I’m sorry if this changes things, but we shouldn’t focus on it now…we need to think of some way to save Adam…” Shannon tried to avert the topic.

    “Yeah…yeah, sure… ummm, what do we do? It’s not like we can call him up and send him a cab or anything….” Kris was sarcastic…not the best attitude in an emergency…




    Submitted on 2005-03-05 10:31:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I am really impressed with the Jamaican accent (is this suppose to take place anywhere specific?) I really like where this is going. I have one suggestion though, I would suggest that you be a bit more clear about certain things (for example is Joe the only one on the island adn other little questions that arise) If you have mentioned these things in previous chapters then your right on track. I would really like to see more writing from you!
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by MystMaker | [ Reply to This ]



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