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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: “Adventures in the Human . . .dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: pyrrhic victor
    ASL Info:    17/slope of sucrose
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 20/22/6
    Words: 396
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1481
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2778



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots“Adventures in the Human . . .dots
    -------------------------------------------


    “Adventures in the Human Condition with a Yellow Sponge”

    I see my sister always
    her pink worm pinky
    in her pink right nostril,
    the worm wriggling inside
    digging for ventilation,
    she explains in her 5 year old ways
    'well, my nose feels uncomfortable,
    I can't breathe'
    in her native tongue, so foreign
    its a funny sight to see,
    this dainty, docile little creature,
    hair pinned in delicate, pink pink
    ribbons, and a cute pink pink dress
    sitting demurely with a 5 year oldish
    grace, watching the yellow Spongebob
    on TV, doing all of this
    with a pinky in her right nostril,
    aerating her nose . . .

    occasionally, the worm crawls
    leisurely into her pink, pink mouth
    after a saunter in her nose
    and I always tell her to stop,
    reprimand her about the dangers of
    rhinotillexomania: meningitis, infection,
    loss of nose hairs, the consumption of
    pathogenic populations . . . and
    society's persecutions and prejudice
    and she always listens with her
    pink pink meniscus ears, giggling
    her pink pink bubbles of sound
    and then she retaliates in her
    5 year-old way and in her pink pink
    pixie voice says 'fact of matterly'
    that a top Austrian doctor said that
    eating boogers was 'naturely' and
    'helpful' by 'making strong' the
    'immunity system', in American
    English, and I think
    that kids know too much today,
    thanks to the internet

    and I listen, and without verbal tongue,
    I smile, from the heart, and let her
    explore the depths of her nose
    because I recognize in her
    my own 5 year old self,
    when you don't really care
    about society because you live
    in your imagination, without the larger
    world to dictate your personal freedom,
    to dictate what is natural and what is not,
    what is good and what is not,
    not really caring about the opinions of peers,
    always knowing what you want,
    always knowing your dreams,
    always saying pink pink things
    in a pink pink way . . .

    and I leave her to watch and listen
    to the philosophically profound
    antics and utterances and giggles of
    Spongebob Squarepants, the epitome
    of the human condition as a child would
    know and would most likely forget in school,
    I leave her to watch, giggle, and aerate.
    I 'contemplate' my own human condition,
    and walk upstairs to finish my homework.




    Submitted on 2005-03-06 17:11:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      oh and i forgot about the ingenuity in using the title.. how it circles to the ending.. how this situation is used in comparison to yourself.. what does that do? for many, it opens a door for a self examination of their self..

    or more so.. Adventure their human.

    xo, jon
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by DreamSyndicate | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very.. to be frank, i am not much of a poetry reader so i wouldnt know any type of style or anything which you incorperated in this poem. but it is, very well done. partly as to why i have added you to my stalk list, and why this poem is on my fav list. :)

    anyway there is just so much humor, and genuine humor, it is of one thing which we all have had, or experienced or have seen... childhood, but on a more larger sense.. depending on how u perceive each line.. innocence. and how with your poem the part that is seamlessly comical when it doesnt intend to be. or maybe even sad for others, the poem goes through a transition from that first part, into the main theme of it. how that incident/situation plays out in some greater philosophical sense. or if you dont like the word "philosophical" on something in relation to moral premises. really. a great work.. this was genuinly very enjoyable to read.. and im not much a poetry reader.. will have to look at all your work now.>

    xo, jon
    | Posted on 2005-03-30 00:00:00 | by DreamSyndicate | [ Reply to This ]
      I also have a strange obsession with metaphorical pink but just in a different way...hhmmm...I found myself kinda smiling when I read this... in the way you would when your wisest friend is jokingly easing your mind or reminiscing ...you writing is wise and witty through simplicity and pure reflection...
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by rytrsbloc | [ Reply to This ]
      Very realistic in many ways. I babysit a 3,4, and 6 year old - they are my cousins' children and I've known them, naturealy, since they were only a pink pink hour old bundle in a hospital. Also, I liked how the reason the little five year old didn't care about her sister's reasoning as ultimately because people who live with a vivid imagination basically create their own world and therefore, the other world of peers and "reality" doesn't truely affect them. Very deep for a story about a five year old. Also, incredibly adorable.
    Keep up the good writing
    Much Love,
    Ashley

    PS ah-haha mucus flows .. stanza flows .. funny puns
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by shivaree | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. That brought back great memories of being a child and not having a care at all. The innocence of the little girl reminded me so much of myself and my two little siblings. It makes one miss being a youngin and enjoying the nothing you really did.

    For the poem and all the words. Bringing everything up and around pink is just a great image of the innocence that is little kids.

    always knowing what you want,
    always knowing your dreams,
    always saying pink pink things
    in a pink pink way . . .
    That right there summed everything up :). I enjoyed a good poem tonight :) Have a good day.

    Mitchy
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by MuckyMuckpoop | [ Reply to This ]
      yeh, well you know, leave it to a five year old to tell you how it really is. it really grosses me out when i see adults picking their noses in public because i don't know where they're going to flick it; i'd rather they ate it.

    i found this quite funny in parts and sporadic in it's all-knowing wisdom of a five year old. it seems that we (adults) can use multi-syllabic words and come up with the same philosophic notions that 'pink pink' cheeks and hands and faces can come up with silently with little but profound actions.

    i guess you do what you have to when your nose needs picking but there's always someone to tell you 'no' when you're not acting quite good enough, even in the privacy of your own hands and nose...i guess i felt refreshed after reading this, not like i want to go and watch tv and eat but that i want to care less about explanations of why's and 'because i said so's' but to care more about the 'why not's?' even though all the contemplations of institutionalized thoughts and their opposites leads to ...hospitalized and doing homework and not picking your nose. waste not. want not.

    ghost.
    | Posted on 2005-03-07 00:00:00 | by myghostsliketotravel | [ Reply to This ]


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