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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Simple Strangerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: shivaree
    ASL Info:    16/Girl/SD
    Elite Ratio:    7.93 - 27/17/11
    Words: 275
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 317
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1738



    Description:
       I don't know if this is any good, I just opened the submit box and started writing so I can only hope that this makes sense. I've been struggling with some things, and it came to its climax earlier today, and I feel a lot better now. I just hope that this poem can tell half of what I felt.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Simple Strangerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was so numb
    To all that I used to feel
    The pain was gone
    But the void was so much worse

    I laid awake so many nights
    Thinking about my fate
    And what would happen to my soul
    If I made that perennial decision

    My life changed by chance
    And the freetime by others
    When I came accross the lines
    That, call it foreordination or just luck,
    Thawed my heart

    I broke down in tears
    Not knowing what had happened
    I didn't know if my sins were forgiven
    If I had really been shown the light
    But I felt it. Delcious pain and sweet bliss
    Emotions long lost came back to me.

    Even a beaten dog,
    Is greater than the carcas of a once mighty lion
    Even my feeble attempts at living
    Will be far more majestic than my surrender

    So now I walk
    Upon the rough gravel path
    That shall lead me to my destiny
    Sure of myself and of my faith
    Because of a stranger's words

    It doesn't take the Bible, Qur'an nor Torah to save
    For all those works I would of shoved away
    Crying that I never should of been
    Sobbing that I couldn't continue to be

    It took a stranger's simple words,
    An innocent, child-like prayer for forgiveness
    To show me I can do this.

    Now, I bequith to the Lord
    My life as a living sacrifice
    My devotion I show
    By merely breathing when I wish to suffocate

    I listened to that simple stranger
    But now I smile and I wonder
    Wasn't Jesus once a simple stranger, too?




    Submitted on 2005-03-06 21:03:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *deep breath.* *release*
    Okay lets start this shall we?

    "It doesn't take the Bible, Qur'an nor Torah to save"

    I liked that line because I thought you were saying it doesn;t religion, the crutch of god to live, to save souls and to keep going. I believe that. Then I read;

    "
    I listened to that simple stranger
    But now I smile and I wonder
    Wasn't Jesus once a simple stranger, too?"

    So did you like find god in this stranger? Think that, Jesus was a simple stranger who saved people so maybe that is what I found? Or are you saying that something as powerful as jesus, as god, the lord can be found in a strangers kind words? I like the second but I am not sure what you ment since it oculd mean a few things.

    Over all I liked this. A good release of feelings. Most poems I read that are like, "A lot has been going on lately." or something aren't that good. I don't mean to sound like a [censored] or anything it is just something I have noticed. A lot of people that use poetry as a way to vent feelings aren't that good but I am happy they found some way to get it out.

    Some of your stanzas where very good, I liked
    "Even a beaten dog,
    Is greater than the carcas of a once mighty lion
    Even my feeble attempts at living
    Will be far more majestic than my surrender"
    That quiet a bit.

    -Cig
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by Cigarette Smoke | [ Reply to This ]
      What I meant by the
    "But now I smile and I wonder
    Wasn't Jesus once a simple stranger, too?"
    Part was that you can find good, holy, powerful things (such as the power of Jesus, or if that isn't your cup of tea a devine holy being) in the good of every day people. I realized that might be a common question so I decided to post that now.
    | Posted on 2005-03-06 00:00:00 | by shivaree | [ Reply to This ]



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