Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
    • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
    • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: ~Feet Planted~dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rocknpoetrychik
    ASL Info:    20/Female/Someplace
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 331/281/44
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 324
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 562



    Description:
       love that is great can make you feel so many things. scared of loss... happy for what you have... many things.. this is about how seeing the world through anothers eyes can make you have a clarity about life about humanity that you would never think to go to or for that matter be able to. i hope you enjoy and if you dont tell me why it is all in constructive critism anyhow;)
    ~*~amber~*~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots~Feet Planted~dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Alive, yet swearing death
    Dream so real, must be awake
    Knowing not where I am
    Trading my safety for helplessness
    Drift in and out, turning back inside
    Looking out through new eyes
    Where have you taken me?
    Buried my life so I could never return?
    Recognizable faces turn to obscurity
    New world outlook makes it all so clear
    A clean blindness
    Lead me!
    You made me anew! Take care of this burden!
    I take my hands away from my face
    Ah. This is sight. This is clarity.




    Submitted on 2005-03-07 03:17:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You did a very good job on the rewriting of this poem,bravo

    Now your message comes across much clear.

    Keep writing and I will keep reading
    | Posted on 2005-03-15 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes love is the highest energy source there is,by far.

    Though as human we actually believe we can control it,how foolish we are.

    Your poem starts off a little rough and gets much better, Mostly because of too many I's in the first few lines.

    Good write
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.