Well, lust has just led to more lust in my life, but I can't say that it never leads to love. Maybe "Souls become one" should come after the love because lust is just a genital meltdown to me. "Hearts burst into firework displays/ Pupils widen into universes" are nice lines. Blah, I get sick of people saying things should be longer. I think it's more difficult and artistic to write something minimalistic.
I like some of this piece, moonbeams and fireworks are always good but it does need some more meat (no pun intended) to it or perhaps go the other direction and turn it into a haiku. Getting high and making love is certainly an inspiration to write and I get a lot of your feelings in this work, just seems as though you could have done a little more with it. Maybe another toke and another go 'round would help.
its grr8! I loved it..I love poems about a person trying sooo hard to discribe lust..But I don't think anyone can..Lust is a thing of each persons mind...their Fantasys...their hopes...Keep up the grr8 work! I loved this one! ~Llama Luver~