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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Shattereddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katj
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 103/89/24
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 759



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShattereddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Is it over?
    Is this it?
    My life is ending,
    And it feels incomplete.
    Death is what I yearned for,
    I wanted an escape- to leave this place.
    But now as itís happening,
    Thereís nothing I want least.

    Sitting in this hospital bed,
    Wondering how long it will be,
    Until the transaction is complete.
    My lifeís check is cashed,
    And thereís nothing left to do now,
    But bounce.

    All the things I will never see
    Are running through my head.
    Why couldnít I have learned more?
    Instead I sat,
    Wallowing in my own self-pity,
    While my health disintegrated.
    And left in the crumbs,
    Is me,
    Shattered.




    Submitted on 2005-03-08 15:26:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      just one thing that makes me wonder and worry is that r u dying or something...
    r u in physchial distress that keeps u menatlly depressed...
    this poem of urs worried me a lot and it imperative enough to get any one serious... hope u arnt dying or something like that...

    Regards

    Ravi/Umay/Rawpot
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by rawpot | [ Reply to This ]
      Very depressing stuff makes you look your own mortality in a deep way. I enjoyed it, the poem had a good flow to it. Which always makes for a better read. Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by Bronzebird19 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very depressing, makes you feel what you wrote. Makes you think about your own mortality and short life is. I think i agree some what with the idea of dying of a broken heart.
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by Bronzebird19 | [ Reply to This ]
      I also believe it's a broken heart. This is a poignant description of what MAY go through a regretful suicide's mind. Excellent job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      first of all, if the situation described is genuinly true, I woulld like to express my sincere condolences. it sounds terrible and frightening.
    as to the poem itself,I liked alot of the lines- "Until the transaction is complete.
    My lifeís check is cashed,"
    and the flow was good too.
    nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by marigold | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this... at first i thought it would be a poem about a broken heart but as i read it i realized it was about death but i still think its death by broken heart... idk why its just the way i think.
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by broken_dreamer | [ Reply to This ]


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