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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "S/W/F SEEKING S/W/F"dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 280
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1269
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1611



    Description:
       Just a few thoughts I've had ohhhh maybe since I was 10.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"S/W/F SEEKING S/W/F"dots
    -------------------------------------------


    You know what turns me on?;
    The voyeur role
    as they're about to get it on
    I love to watch
    their bodies pressed together
    a man would just get in the way
    I know you know
    what I am trying to say
    every touch so sensual
    who would want to bother
    with two testicles
    it's passion but so much more
    feelings most of us never had before

    to each other
    it's ground that's familiar
    others might say
    they find it peculiar
    Not ME,
    I just want to make it
    a manage de trois kind of a thing

    they just don't want it
    everything from caliced hands
    to the bulge in my pocket
    a love thats true
    giving and recipricating
    in a way a man just couldn't do
    two daughters or two mothers
    choosing not a man
    to be their lover
    I just want to take part
    and I mean that from the heart

    Who can blame me?
    I just want in
    it's so different
    it's a woman thing
    I'm a guy
    and I"m trying to make this three
    why these two just invite me
    they just don't want men
    no penis will come between them
    ever, ever, ever, ever again
    who can blame them for
    loving another girl
    heck if I were a chick
    I'd be the biggest lesbian
    in the whole world

    L A M E M A N S T E R M S









    Submitted on 2005-03-08 19:39:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well, i've been with a girl, and with a girl & a guy and with 2 guys....uh ya..i had a lot of...fun...before i got married.
    and the most fun for me was the girl & guy, cause ya know it's fun to have little of this and a little of that.
    anyway, i don't think anyone should take offense to this, no, it's not your best work, but how could everything you write or any of us...be perfect, or even just good, all the time.
    anyway, i thought it was cute & funny, but i do think you should take yourself out of the picture and make it about liking to watch rather than being involved. because toward the end you do sound a little bitter you weren't invited to the party.
    anyway, i liked it.
    and if the girls don't invite you in it's because they truly are lesbians and not just Bi. thats not me, i like to have some help.. :P
    but i also have to say that i totally disagree with the girl who said she likes to watch 2 guys.....yuuuuuuck.
    the only reason 2 guys is good, is so they can both be paying attention to you. they shoud never touch. ...eeeww.
    okay so thats it, i can't find those other 2 poems you told me about so i read this one....
    CC
    | Posted on 2005-04-28 00:00:00 | by C. Starr | [ Reply to This ]
      by being bi, I can understand the want that you have for watching. I like how you are trying to rationalize your male impulse for that kind of thing, only it doesn't quite work here. Honrestly dude, what was going through you're mind when you wrote it? You make us objects, like you have to right to posess us in that way. Like, your reasoning behind writting it was probably good, but the way you did it was kind of bad. I hate giving bad reviews dude, but I ran out of good things to say. I think this is one of your worst yet. And hopefully you'll recover from it.
    ~Jess
    P.S. Please don't take offense to my comment, I'm just trying to be objective. And I'd like to keep my boobs please.
    | Posted on 2005-03-27 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]
      As a woman who enjoys other women...I have to say that this gave me a whole new perspective..I would say that the flow is a little off, could use some work...but the idea is sound and more than a little funny. Thanks!
    | Posted on 2005-03-17 00:00:00 | by deepinthought | [ Reply to This ]
      The sudden change in rhythm comes across a bit forced... also you don't rhyme throughout and then suddenly towards the end. Not saying it doesn't work - you're free to try anything after all... but it is a bit disruptive to the flow of the poem. I totally get the voyeur desire... by default you cannot be part of the arrangement so all that's left is to be invited to participate or look on in from the outside. Each to his own is my motto so I won't be judging people for making the choices they do. You portray a very sensual picture in a well delivered poem.
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by Beulah | [ Reply to This ]
      Alright I'm back. I think that this poem honestly did touch the something in me. To a certain extent I agree with all the question you asked here. Although I don't think I could answer any of them...I did see one error in the text that in my eyes takes away from the rest of the poem. In the 11th line of your last stanza "ever again" is not needed at all. Try reading it out loud with the line and then without. I think you'll agree that it throws off the flow of the piece. Anyways good job!
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by Lostlover | [ Reply to This ]
      Well I think that you managed to remain tasteful against my expectations. I hadn't read anything by you so I rather enjoyed this change of styles. A lot of my friends are bisexual and there extremely attractive so when there with women it's so provocative. I too wonder what's going on all though I don't think I'd have the guts to inquire. Should"I dieing to see
    be " I'm dying to see"?
    anyway good write peace
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, well L.t.- did you write this after Christania on the hill or before- that is funny. I could see this on the front of some kind of sexual hallmark card. " Congratulations on your Lesbianism- Can I Come Over?" Anyway, I think you are putting into words what young boys and men all over the world feel about 2 women loving each other. As we all found out from the great Copenhagen debacle, I am not a lesbian, however the sight of two women together in that way has always been erotic for me. I would definitely rather watch that than 2 men. It is more erotic, emotional, etc. It is because women know something about intimacy that sometimes eludes men. I suppose some people would be offended by your poem, I however think it is all in good fun. I like my sexuality to be open minded and hey, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else...let's all just be honest. You certainly are bold and never afraid to tackle a sticky (hee) topic. Cheers to all of us and our inner lesbians...Mags
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
      it is true, women loving women is a beautiful thing. i do not go for the voyeur thing, tho. what happens between me and my lover stays between me and my lover. sorry, LT, but you'll just have to let your imagination go on that one! thanks for sharing, tho.

    ~Shalom
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm not man bashing kind of lesbian.What you say here makes sense, I'm not so fond of the voyeur aspect but I do see how curoisity could make a guy want to know. Yes, women do know how to make love to women, doesn't it seem obvious they should? Love making is a mystery between two lovers no matter what the combination. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    peace,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay, My sister is a lesbian, and if she read this she would propably call you a pig and try to casterate you.
    Some women love other women maybve in part becuase they dont want to be objectified by men, they want to make love and be loved, but the whole experience is your little porn scene. Damn.

    anyway, nice poem... not too many straight women get off on watching 2 men, but I thinks ITS DAMN SEXY!
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by screams | [ Reply to This ]
      cute. you have some spelling errors. the one that stuck out the most to me was 'sentsuol' it should be sensual.
    anyway, cute ending. its a little spin on the oldest line in the book from a man; Im a lesbian trapped in a mans body.
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by SilentWhisper | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice wordplay,flow,and creativity lame I liked your poem alot like the one line that caught my eye was in the begining when you said "You know what turns me onthe voyeur role as there both about to get it on I love to watch their bodies pressed together a man would just get in the way" I thought the was "sweet". You got some good work I really hope you keep at so you give young bloods like myself inspiration to write good poetry like yours. Well enough with the flatery it's probly going to your head huh lol well thats all I have time to write so let you get back to whatever you were doing k c ya. 1 love
    | Posted on 2005-03-08 00:00:00 | by C. Flava | [ Reply to This ]


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