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    dots Submission Name: Typical Wounddots

    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 723
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 511

       This was directed at evedry fucking loser head that has hurt me and then tried to be friends...I am bitter to all of you.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTypical Wounddots

    it is blurry out there
    distortion rips into any feeling I could have left
    you mistake my tears for pain
    I am angry
    angry that you thought we could still be friends
    angry that you thought we could smile again

    it is painful in here
    my head is a chamber
    full of typical wounds
    you mistake the pain in my eyes
    I am hurt
    but bitter
    so tortured by your lies
    I just want you to go away
    so I can leave this hate

    Submitted on 2005-03-09 14:16:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked it , i think you could have added a little more imagery or emmotion into it though .you used angry a lot , which is good in some cases but in this case .. find a new word or words to get across your point or feeling. - like your picture by the way
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by brokensmile | [ Reply to This ]
      this was great goes well with your picture
    pain from another is very lonely ecspecially when you can feel it inside as you have expressed in your poem well written a nice picture painted
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      great emotion i too have felt this way the picture really sets the tone for the whole piece too often we let others drag us down when all we really need is the one we know for a fact we can trust and they stab us in the back iknow exactly how you feel
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by Rennes | [ Reply to This ]
      wow! I really liked it..It did lack a bit of emotion..But overall it was great! I loved the last line "I just want you to go away...So I can leave this hate" Great! keep writing..I feel that every poem needs work...even the best..
    | Posted on 2005-03-09 00:00:00 | by Thinkingofyou | [ Reply to This ]

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