Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Prayerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Podenco del infierno
    ASL Info:    19/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.75 - 205/195/38
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 816



    Description:
       I wrote this because i was mad at myself...i had to be mad at myself pretty much...because i prayed to God in this poem...and i strongly don't beleive in God...I need a title please...i would also like very much to hear what you think of this work...as well as others of mine if you please...thank you...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Prayerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dear God in whom I put no faith,
    I am afraid.
    I am weak,
    And I fear that death is by my side.
    It is waiting for me.
    Waiting to take me.
    And never let me go.

    Dear God,
    I pray to you.
    I need to die.
    But I don't want to.
    There is yet one person I love.
    One person who still keeps me here.
    I have fought,
    I have fought untill I cold fight no more.
    And despite my efforts,
    I have been defeated.

    Dear God.
    I cry to you.
    Take my problems away.
    Take the one I love,
    And make them forget about me,
    So I can admit defeat,
    And die.

    Dear God,
    Take my soul,
    Kill my body,
    Then mend my love's broken heart.




    Submitted on 2005-03-10 12:51:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      omg... thats was so good, omg... thats how i feel towards my boyfriend... somtimes i want him to forget about me so i can just go on and die, no one wants me around anyways. I am not beautiful like the others walking the earth... i am nothing but a shadow that follows nothing but air... no one notices my cry for help... death is scarey, but if it will end my pain then im willing to do it. I worship no one but Satan, mostly because i think maybe since God "loves" me too much he wont let me die until its truly time, but Satan hates me, and would kill me... but then since he doesnt love me... he would let me suffer on earth, and not let me die... so either way, i am trapped, and theres no way out... If you read my story called "The Hammer" you will understand my pain, and even that is not all of it... my boyfriend is not here and i just feel all alone, like I have always felt, because once again i am only a shadow that follows nothing but air, and i am not noticed... therfore i am not helped.
    -anyways i am going to read more of your work, i love this poem and i wish someone as sweet as you wouldnt hurt.
    -But keep this in mind, i went through a small period where i didnt hurt at all... and i missed it... i missed the pain... i feel like a demon, so maybe if it ends for you, you will miss it because that is your source of creativity~pain.

    well this is so long and i must be going...
    Thanks again!

    -necrotic-
    | Posted on 2005-03-24 00:00:00 | by necrotic | [ Reply to This ]
      Do you wish God to take you just to get revenge on someone? It dont work that way.
    Plus, how do you know that person will have a broken heart after your dead? My thoughts are you have one person you love, think about how many people dont even have one. Pull yourself up and re-read this writing and then think about if you really mean it, I hope you dont.
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. Like I became speechless, just stopped and was like 'Wow' although youreally should work on your contradictions. You say you want to die, then you don't, then you do. Make up your mind! (I mean that as sweetly as possible, joking isn't as easy to convey over the internet) Although I love your last stanza, i think it's really pretty.
    I can understand your lack of faith, so I wouldn't be too worried of what you ask of a ficticious character. (it would be like me asking Harry Potter to take me away with him-LoL)
    And I have no problem looking at other pieces of your work. Just try not leave too many untitled simply because it gets confusing after a while. Even if you turn into another Dickinson and just name your piece after the first line, there'd still be less confussion!
    Awesome write
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      This was very deep. But if the Lord creates you he will not take you until it is time. Such controversy in this. You are looking to the wrong person for answers. This poem actually intimidated me. I didn't feel comfortable reading it. You asking God to take your life is something that I can't accept. Such dark evil requests will not be favored by the Lord. Every life is worth living. For only being 15...you have a lot ahead of you. I hit my downfall around this same age. Yet I looked to the Lord for positive answers to make me through my darkest days. And those were the prayers he answered.

    Alicia
    | Posted on 2005-03-10 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    49870

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry