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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: What Am I?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 712
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 287



    Description:
       It seems this is all I write about. No, I am not a perv, just a hopeless romantic.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Am I?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Enveloped in waves, she heaves
    Rapid fire succession, uncontrollable
    Let go, surrender to my touch
    Dull ache of courseing blood
    Lightheadness, the mind is consumed
    Unrelenting crashes on the shore
    Appetite whetted
    Insatiable
    Again?




    Submitted on 2005-03-11 12:17:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like this. Short, powerful descriptive words, and not perverted. It's totally romantic. :) The only think that gives me the creeps is the "heaves" part. haha Maybe because it's not as beautiful or impressive as the other words. Overall it's was really passionate and loving without getting down right nasty about it. Great job!
    -blt :)
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      After knowing all that you been through with your relationship and now having that powerful,sensual lusting love being awaken once again. You have every right to write about it as much as you want. No sensuality will never make you a perv.

    Your poem speaks clearly of a renewed passion that laid dormant for years, but now Zeus might be getting jealous of you,lol

    Well done my friend
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed reading this. The one line that stands out to me is "Unrelenting crashes on the shore" it reminds me of the old movies, when they would cut the love scene and show
    endless waves rushing in. I can tell, you are definately a hopeless romantic.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      A sweet, smooth read.
    (except for a misspelling with courseing=coursing)


    What am I?
    I'm guessing the answer is passion, too.

    Passionate, not just sexual.
    The understated way you present it underlines this, I think.
    Not just a one-night stand kind of f<cking, if you know what I mean.
    I believe its that passion that separates a romantic from a perv.
    and makes an understated erotic poem better than blatant smut.
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      i figured the title was referring to passion...? i don't think this needs anything more. i prefer the sensual, leave-it-to-the-imagination kind of making love poems. well done.
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good piece but its sort of confusing you should elaborate more and if you dont you should include a description. THe thing that i thought needs work is the end, its a bit too loose. with work i think it will be better. hope this helps i like the topic though why did you choose to name your poem "who am I?"
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]


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