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    dots Submission Name: Hurtdots

    Author: Thinkingofyou
    ASL Info:    18/f/The sunny state
    Elite Ratio:    2.83 - 283/423/132
    Words: 193
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1044
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1148


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Xís and Oís,
    Flowers and cards,
    Notes between classes,
    The whole nine yards,
    Donít get me wrong,
    I love how you dedicated to me that song,
    But this is too soon,
    I always dreamed it would be somewhere special,
    Like under the stars and under the moon,
    Please donít be mad,
    I thought you loved me enough,
    To just put up a smile and be glad,
    No, Please donít touch me that way,
    You know it reminds me of that very unpleasant day,
    Did you not hear what I said?
    I told you to stop,
    Now just get off of my bed!
    Can you not hear me screaming?
    This really hurts,
    I think I might be bleeding,
    Is it over?
    Are you done?
    Leave me alone,
    Or Iíll get my fathers gun!
    Why did you do this to me?
    Did it really mean that much?
    You know for a fact there are plenty of people,
    Who could have given you that rush,
    But why me,
    Is it not possible that even though it was right in front of you face,
    That you could not see how much you were hurting me?

    Submitted on 2005-03-11 17:16:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Whoa this is a really good poem. I wrote one similar, but I don't think it came out this well. Well if you want to read it, it's titled In and Out. Keep up the good write.
    | Posted on 2005-04-18 00:00:00 | by Charlenee | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...this poem reveals alot about how a guy would and could act towards a girl. Ive seen this happen to many of my friends and ive known people who did this to someone who wasnt ready for it. I on a personal level loved this write and it means more then words can describe.
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Ace | [ Reply to This ]
      ok, im not trying to sound mean, but your rhyming seems way to forced. you dont need to make you poem rhyme! personally, i think if you didnt concentrate on trying to make it rhyme so much, it would have been 100% better then it already is. but dont get me wrong either, its still an excellent poem!
    i would love it if someone with your talent would give feedback on my poems aswell.
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree. A strange rhyming pattern, I like it, it's half poem, half story, and what a bleak story! Jeez I'm glad I was never a girl (maybe next life)
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Exquisite! I am so honored to be the first to comment on such a eventful poem. It was angry and full of hurt. Amazing job. LOVES IT!

    Blessed Be!
    | Posted on 2005-03-11 00:00:00 | by Sarah Leger | [ Reply to This ]

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