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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A WOMAN OF FAITHdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: edthepoet
    ASL Info:    47-m-Pa
    Elite Ratio:    4.72 - 1476/991/125
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1331
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 823



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA WOMAN OF FAITHdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A WOMAN OF FAITH


    Withstanding a shattered heart and weary psyche

    Wanting to be acquainted with an authentic devotion

    Past excursions of intimacy has felt scores of thorns

    Even the softest of petals had a lifeless texture

    Walls of granite wage war against the quixotic dreamer

    Immersed in prayer

    Struggling to stay lit

    Bleeding from waging hostilities

    Then one day her beloved stood before the fortifications

    He glanced, smiled and meandered through the barriers as though they never existed

    Once he was inside, her mind entrusts the heart with an olive branch

    EDWARD K. DEPUTY








    Submitted on 2005-03-12 03:12:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Hey Ed, I don't know what else to say. . . I honestly thought you were writing about me, but then i remembered i never told you much about myself. I'm adding this to my favorites (maybe i'm biased because my name is FAITH)!
    | Posted on 2005-04-02 00:00:00 | by calling eve | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. As I always like your work. Everything that you write has such meaning and passion behind them. I just hope that I can be as great of a writer as you are one day. Keep up the great work.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by manda_bear | [ Reply to This ]
      A very lovely poem. Being a woman myself I can certainly relate. It's almost as if she has been through so many disappointing relationships that her heart is bleeding.. yet she holds on to faith that "one day"...
    And then it happens, she finds that connection, her soulmate if you will. I love that.

    You expressed it so well.. and from a "male" point of view which made it even more lovely I think.

    Very enjoyable read.

    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-25 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Pure Ed. You are such a romantic. I love that about you. I told Zandalee that you were going to put her name in a book and she was thrilled. Haven't talked to you in a while. Message me. Lynn
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]
      hate to repeat everyone else, but this was beautiful. the images and wording just so graceful and full of compassion. I don't know why, but this stood out as my favorite line:

    'He glanced, smiled and meandered through the barriers as though they never existed'

    maybe because of its simplicity or because I wish someone would do that for me! made love seem simple, like a smile.

    bless you.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was wonderful Ed! Pure and beautiful words. Thank you for making the english language sound as it should! You did a very good job on this love poem.. most of the time they are so corny but this was just as beautiful as love itself! Thank you sir for your delightful poem!
    ~*~amber~*~
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by rocknpoetrychik | [ Reply to This ]
      you do have this uncanny way of putting words to paper edward, and it is not anything i can place.
    i think you are at the right place because you seem full of ideas and inspirations and they seem to be unrelenting.
    and you should enjoy this while it lasts, because it will not always last.

    it is my opinion that you just need to work on that transition between what is in your head and how it appears on the screen and as we read it.

    this piece, for example.
    it has so much in it, but it reads as a series of on1e liners, and for me that is not doing justice to what you are saying and how you are saying it.

    the cure, in my opinion, in this piece, would be to relate the lines to each other so that they move from on1e to the other in a manner that feels like a continuation rather than a new bullet point on each line. you can use conjunctions, punctuation, inserts of words and exclusions of such; there are many things.

    what i see is the words on the page that look like they have some straight out of your head. like they are in the language that you think in but they have not yet been translated into what we read.
    and sometimes this is very effective, especially when using abstract devices, but here i think the topic is such that you need to make it more like writing.

    and that is all i have to say. i guess i am saying that i would not touch what you have to say, just look at how you are saying it.

    and i hope that you are well.
    i have not forgotten your introduction, it is in my mind and when time permits it will be on your page,
    take care
    on1eday.co.uk
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautifully said. It makes sense to me, and I liked it alot. It's just been a shame I haven't been able to read more lately, but keep your great pieces going, you know I am always listening. . .

    Amy
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Chicool2 | [ Reply to This ]
      that was a beautiful poem, it took me a minute to let it sink in to my mind though. its a little bit over my head as i am still young. but i like it now that i understand it.
    anyway, thanks for commenting on my simplistic work. (well its simple compared to yours). good write, and im looking forward to seeing more of your work.
    1 suggestion i do have though, is that you put some punctuation in there so people know where to pause when they read the words. sometimes it can make a certain part pop out when you put the right punctuation in.
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautifully worded, as always, Ed. Personally, I think you've cornered the market on love poetry around here. So meaningful and tender, you appear to wear your heart on your sleeve.
    I greatly enjoyed this write. Simplistic in nature, it conveys so much. Your never give up attitude shines through every time. You are definately my knight in shining armor. God bless.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      (sigh)

    you tend to be so connected to your poetry. beautifully heartfelt Ed, i especially liked:

    Past excursions of intimacy has felt scores of thorns
    Even the softest of petals had a lifeless texture

    a new fav for me...you always give such delightful things to read. thanks
    -Nikki
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by stolie77 | [ Reply to This ]
      Tah dah! It's me! Hey this was sooo good! Loved it! Once again I can not emphasize enough your use of expression. Always keeping one's mind at work.

    Even the softest of petals had a lifeless texture

    That was my favorite line.

    Well, dearest Edward, once again you "whoa'd" me. lol

    Love,

    Alicia
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey there. My dear...I've always known that you had quite a way with words. But this is quite exceptional. The wording,flow,dynamics used just fit. This is one of the best you've written I'm sure of it.

    I like this idea of this woman. This piece makes me think of a how after the flood Moses released a dove and it brought back the olive branch letting him know that it was safe. The olive branch seems to symbolize a feeling of peace. Especially in this poem. I really liket his Ed. I really do.

    Anyhoo..much love to ya and great work as always.
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... I cant even begin to express how much this hits home... My mom is just beginning to get over her divorce and also a relationship that started and was so perfect for her, but then very abruptley ended...

    Past excursions of intimacy has felt scores of thorns...

    This perfectly describes her life in 9 words... I am definately going to show her this one... Exquisite doesnt even begin to describe this Ed... Bravo.
    .Caleb.
    | Posted on 2005-03-16 00:00:00 | by Exquisite_Death | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, ED! I thought I had cornered the marked on love poetry. I see I still have a long way to go. Keep writing so I can keep trying to come up to your level. Thanks my friend
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]


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