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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Ruminationsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deepinthought
    ASL Info:    24, F, Shaw AFB, SC
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 72/96/19
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 216
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 989



    Description:
       ok, i edited this one too...before posting here I thought I was half decent..now not so much...LOL


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRuminationsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wonder how it is that a child can talk from morning til night,
    How a flower knows when the Spring is here and when it has passed,
    How I can still hear the voices of those that I have loved and lost to death,
    How a picture can say a thousand words and my lover so few,
    And how the first touch of a newborn babe can cause the pain of the birth to vanish.
    All of these things and many more I wonder, knowing that I may never get the answers.
    But in some things, faith replaces the questions
    I look inside to find the strength to accept what comes,
    to bend with the storms and not break at the winds
    And so I accept the world for what it is,
    thankful for the small miracles of everyday life
    and look for love and beauty where it can be found,
    and in my way, try to heal a few broken hearts,
    believing that if today I make one person smile,
    then gettin up this morning was worth it.




    Submitted on 2005-03-12 03:43:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the overall message of the piece but more than a few of the lines were clichéd and played out. The whole 'miracles of everyday life, mending broken hearts, making one person smile' thing is all well and good but I know you could have said it in a more original way. The line "How a picture can say a thousand words and my lover so few" proves that you ara capable of great things. It's lines like these that make amazing poems. I just wish the rest of the poem could have been as strong.
    | Posted on 2005-03-23 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked your your poem but i think you need to work on your structure on your stanzas
    they seem a little off but your main body of work
    is fine just tweek it a little bit more
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      great poem! like poeticsoul666 said i find myself wondering these things. i do too! its a well written poem. but i do have 1 suggestion for the beggining. you need to use punctuation in the beggining few lines because its not there. but its in the rest of the poem. usually, people use consistancy through there poems. either with punctuation, or without. other then that great write!
    xoxoxomuchlove-ash
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like it, I have found myself wondering these things as well :) Try not the wonder too much though.. hehe or at least dont use wonder in the write so much ;) good job
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]
      I would only use "I wonder how it is that' only once and then put the rest of the lines as the poem. I think that would be more effective. My favorite is:

    'I wonder how it is that a picture can say a thousand words, and my lover so few'

    another line as strong as this one wouldn't hurt either. great job.
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]



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