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    dots Submission Name: graydots

    Author: closetpoet
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 51/106/70
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1069
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Gray solemn light shone
    through coke glass window...too alone
    and cast reflections that fill my walls
    souls searching repose from eternal squalls

    Gray, cold rain, falls long
    sweeping sheets pelt rhythmic and strong
    bleed the color from hope
    long surrendered, unable to cope

    Gray foaming waves swallow me whole
    dragged down in torrent to nothing at all
    and there relinquish all control
    to this borrowed soul

    Gray matter speaks to me
    rationalize what is and what should be
    blind to tomorrow for what yesterday held
    the pall of a future in a house where love dwelled

    Submitted on 2005-03-12 17:27:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is good, -surprised you don't have more comments. I liked the different elements that all shared the color gray; the light " through coke glass window",the waves, the rain and then at the last the human factor, "gray matter,"-your thoughts. That last stanza was the best thought , bringing it all together.

    "Gray matter speaks to me
    rationalize what is and what should be
    blind to tomorrow for what yesterday held
    the pall of a future in a house where love dwelled"
    Thanks and good luck
    | Posted on 2005-04-26 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      it's about as cheerful as the one I posted today! I know how you feel. and this is quite well written. I would fix the spelling on rhythm in line six. otherwise it's fine. my favorite lines are:

    'rationalize what is and what should be
    blind to tomorrow for what yesterday held'

    this seems to be my problem too!
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by sierramuse8 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey.This poem was really good.I just didn't understand what the coke glass window thing was,but other than that everything was good.
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by ColdinSummer | [ Reply to This ]

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