[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: morte
    ASL Info:    17/female/earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430/348/55
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 613

       any comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated especialy any ideas for a title

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    A dusky glowing orb hued deathly white
    A forsaken life as sun of the night
    Silver rays offering insanity
    A fleeting escape from humanity
    The glimpse of freedom is tantalizing
    The return to truth is paralyzing
    Longing for unavoidable caprice
    Figure twisted in bitter sweet release
    Feeling the helplessness of transition
    Howling the joyful songs of submission
    Presenting a powerful temptation
    True living begins with transformation
    Morals and instincts forcibly entwined
    A life revolving around the moons shine

    Submitted on 2005-03-12 20:19:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this poem of the moon. Old folklore does indeed relate insanity with the full moon and oh yes, those wolves will howl. I find this poem full of imagery and flows very well. The rhyme scheme is good here. All in all, an ejoyable read for me. Good job.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      For some reason the word Escape jumps out at me as the title. I like your rhyme scheme (for once, usually I hate rhyme), I think because it's not always exact end rhymes (bat/cat, love/dove). I have to disagree with previous commentors - I think this is a great length, I wouldn't add anything at all, and I think the first two lines are fine. The "joyful" submission got me thinking...this is great. Don't change a thing.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this! I bit different, broken up in a sense. The first lines does'nt really compliment the poem. Although it rythems with line two. I must admit i do like the contrast "the sun of night" and "silver rays offering insanity". Imagery in good taste. who could say the true meaning of your letters. It makes me think and squirm, the firguring out. "Escape, freedom, truth, longing, it rounds out to a suggestive title, take it or leave it, its up to you since your the beholder. I came up with " The crashing fleet . . . . .of finding answers". All in all a great poem.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by T.Redd | [ Reply to This ]
      This one reminds me of being at crossroads...knowing what is right but giving into what you know is bad. That just how it made me feel. Being submissive was the general feeling I got. Probably because you said that but mostly because of the line..."True living begins with transformation..." I just feel the opposite...death begins by changing and trying to "transform"...life is just all about living and being you, not having to transform. Anyway, good job on the write, it was really inspirational to me. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this one alex...even though i didn't understand the words at first...because i am dumb...oh well...but i do like it...i have never read anything that was strictly about the moon before and how it is related to life...i guess...that is what i got from it...if that is not what this poem is about, then you should tell me what is supposed to be about...but that is what i got from it and i like it...good job alex...YESS!hahaha
    Your very own Hound Of Hell
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The World written by jjd
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]