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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: morte
    ASL Info:    17/female/earth
    Elite Ratio:    4.7 - 430/348/55
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 613



    Description:
       any comments/suggestions are greatly appreciated especialy any ideas for a title


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    A dusky glowing orb hued deathly white
    A forsaken life as sun of the night
    Silver rays offering insanity
    A fleeting escape from humanity
    The glimpse of freedom is tantalizing
    The return to truth is paralyzing
    Longing for unavoidable caprice
    Figure twisted in bitter sweet release
    Feeling the helplessness of transition
    Howling the joyful songs of submission
    Presenting a powerful temptation
    True living begins with transformation
    Morals and instincts forcibly entwined
    A life revolving around the moons shine




    Submitted on 2005-03-12 20:19:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked this poem of the moon. Old folklore does indeed relate insanity with the full moon and oh yes, those wolves will howl. I find this poem full of imagery and flows very well. The rhyme scheme is good here. All in all, an ejoyable read for me. Good job.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      For some reason the word Escape jumps out at me as the title. I like your rhyme scheme (for once, usually I hate rhyme), I think because it's not always exact end rhymes (bat/cat, love/dove). I have to disagree with previous commentors - I think this is a great length, I wouldn't add anything at all, and I think the first two lines are fine. The "joyful" submission got me thinking...this is great. Don't change a thing.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this! I bit different, broken up in a sense. The first lines does'nt really compliment the poem. Although it rythems with line two. I must admit i do like the contrast "the sun of night" and "silver rays offering insanity". Imagery in good taste. who could say the true meaning of your letters. It makes me think and squirm, the firguring out. "Escape, freedom, truth, longing, it rounds out to a suggestive title, take it or leave it, its up to you since your the beholder. I came up with " The crashing fleet . . . . .of finding answers". All in all a great poem.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by T.Redd | [ Reply to This ]
      This one reminds me of being at crossroads...knowing what is right but giving into what you know is bad. That just how it made me feel. Being submissive was the general feeling I got. Probably because you said that but mostly because of the line..."True living begins with transformation..." I just feel the opposite...death begins by changing and trying to "transform"...life is just all about living and being you, not having to transform. Anyway, good job on the write, it was really inspirational to me. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this one alex...even though i didn't understand the words at first...because i am dumb...oh well...but i do like it...i have never read anything that was strictly about the moon before and how it is related to life...i guess...that is what i got from it...if that is not what this poem is about, then you should tell me what is supposed to be about...but that is what i got from it and i like it...good job alex...YESS!hahaha
    Love,
    Your very own Hound Of Hell
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by Podenco del infierno | [ Reply to This ]


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