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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sometimes I Just Amdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Magnolia
    ASL Info:    31/ F
    Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 402/377/27
    Words: 74
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1684
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 482



    Description:
       I wanted to write about how I felt I had nothing to write about.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSometimes I Just Amdots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is me in this moment...
    nothing special,
    nothing sparkling.

    There is just breath,
    and bones,
    and silence--
    no pretense,
    no place to go,
    a yawn,
    a sigh,
    a shrug.

    There is in this moment
    my essence--
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME.




    Submitted on 2005-03-12 21:48:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed this poem. It made me feel at piece with such a hard day that I have had I needed that piece. I really enjoyed this part...
    "There is in this moment
    my essence-
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME."

    That was just great, so sound, so profoundly deep. A nice long walk on the beach with time is where this poem takes me. A very nice write and a great feeling I get from reading it. Thankyou for sharing this one.
    Smiles to you.
    | Posted on 2005-08-08 00:00:00 | by pj5 | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful. I love to hear it when people are fully satisfied with just being themself. That takes a lot. Most only see their outer self when they look in the mirror. Only few see exactly what is there. You sound like a strong person. keep it up!
    | Posted on 2005-05-19 00:00:00 | by ThaCrib | [ Reply to This ]
      This, René, is true magic, true beauty - when there is this seeming 'nothingness' - and its captivating, and infused with charm, and emotion, and tranquility....

    "There is in this moment
    my essence--
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME."

    This part was just incredible...I think it could even stand on its own...you build up the feelings with the repetition....infusing just a hint of sarcasm into the calm tone of the piece...the 'should/could/must' are very striking.

    And the irony of the 'void'....for really, it is anything but a void...it is the essence of YOU, where the magic comes from, where you are happy and strong and comfortable - and that is what matters...

    Beautiful.

    Much love,

    Katia
    | Posted on 2005-06-05 00:00:00 | by Katia | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an amazing piece, I love it. my fav part is:

    "There is in this moment
    my essence-
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME. "

    I love this. I like it because it is true, that is how you finally get to know the real you, by being alone with nothing special or particular going on..this is amazing. It is as though you wree in my head consuming my thoughts withme.
    | Posted on 2005-04-06 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      What I found curious is how certain commenter's, comments are far longer than your poem about not being able to write, now that's dark humor. You indeed displayed your nothingness well cleanly with this poem. I better be careful with how many words I write,lol
    | Posted on 2005-04-03 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      I usually read the comments written to pieces to see how the writers have touched others, but this one spoke to me so personally I wondered for a moment if you knew me.
    I love the quiet moments when I don't feel I should be this, or could be that, should do this, should be that. I like who I am, the 'me' only I know. I wish I had the strength to show more of me to others.
    Thanks for letting me drift back to me for a moment. I needed it.
    -Chell-
    | Posted on 2005-06-16 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very meditative piece. I have a belief that the highest state of being is complete and total self acceptance. Acceptance of all the good, all the bad... completely humility (meaning, not knowing how flawed you are, but knowing all your strengths, all your weaknesses, and having a realistic view of yourself and your role in the world)... and this write captures that idea wonderfully.

    If only my life could be strung together of just these moments in which I am actually please to meet me, and not dwelling on the woulda, coulda, shouldas.
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by jer | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this theme, as I too like to sit and soak up the silence like a sponge. Who could know the inspiration we take on in these moments of quiet, when a rare satisfaction dawns like prayers answered. The sound of our own breathing takes us home to ourselves, the down to bones realization of how wonderful it is just to be. "How, now, does it feel to find not error is being?" is a line from "sequential art of being" one of mine, I think you've answered it here. I like the slow rhythm and way you feed us thoughts, nice job. Thanks Mags,
    love and peace,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this, that you can just sit with yourself, breathe and empty yourself of any shoulds, coulds or woulds.. it's a beautiful gift, isn't it? not many people can just sit in the silence and feel it to their bones. very nice, Mags.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I feel this poem reflects a self-assured, strong woman who is at peace with her inner self.
    Too few of us are, you know. The Zen-like feel of this poem, is relaxing, peaceful. Being one with yourself. It has a very calming effect to whoever reads it. Good job.
    Carol
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this is definitely interesting. I like how this really isn't about anything outside of yourself. It's very Zen like.

    This is me in this moment...
    nothing special,
    nothing sparkling.

    I suppose that the ellipsis is ok there, but I think I'd prefer it if you used a dash because I think ellipses are overused. It's your call though. If you feel it's more of a disjointed feeling to you, go with the ellipsis.

    There is just breath,
    and bones,
    and silence-
    no pretense,
    no place to go,
    a yawn,
    a sigh,
    a shrug.

    I like how you tend to give things in threes. I read a book that said that is a good rule for poetry, but I don't recall what book it is. You have a hyphen after silence, and you need a dash (In most word processors, you type two hyphens and hit enter to convert it to a dash; if that doesn't work, two hyphens typed together are equivalent). Both hyphens should be dashes.

    There is in this moment
    my essence-
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME.

    I like the idea of picking a moment of your life and immortalizing it. I think the ellipsis works well there. I like this Zen epiphany very much.
    | Posted on 2005-03-12 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Very intriguing. At first glance I wasn't too enthralled, but during the second I was obsessed. I can see how many people believe this to be very "Zen" and relaxing as well. I don't. I would really like to know exactly what you wanted to say with this, if you will take the time to let me know.

    To me, it seems like an emptiness more than a fulfillment. The only fulfillment that can be found is the potential that lies ahead. That you can never be whole, never be perfect, never BE fulfilled at all. It's quite a paradox, balancing between utterly depressed over the "void" that cannot ever be filled in, and the knowledge that you can always improve. That is where you find yourself. A work of art that will never be completed, but never run out of paint. To me that's what this piece represents. You seem pleased in an almost sorrowful way, similiar to the natural enjoyment of some forms of pain and abuse that are contained in us. I feel this very often, and this work makes me very nostalgic for it. Thank you very much for expressing it. I don't know if I was even close to what you were describing here, but it's the closest I could explain how it made me feel. You are a very talented writer.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by majinkenshinamv | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece a lot. I find solitude (at times) to be calming.. where you sit (no pretense) and just "be you". You did an excellent job in bringing that out. The last line grabbed at me.. like.. "YES"...lol
    Take Care!
    ~Sandra
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this piece..it is the essence of what we as humans really need to understand..i think the lines that say :

    "There is in this moment
    my essence-
    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be.

    ...And in this void I am pleased to meet ME. "

    are really the best part in this poem..this is what society needs to understand..that the time that you really get to know yourself is at the time that you are spending by yourself..you dont always need to be around other people. I dont know how to put into words what i feel about this poem..but it is beautiful and you really have caught the essence of a great poet.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm. There is a combination of feelings that this piece brings out of me...

    there is a real sadness, an emptiness in

    all that I am,
    an absence of
    what I should be,
    what I could be,
    what I must be

    this feeling haunts me and chases me and catches me in weak, quiet moments such as the one you are describing. Then there is

    And in this void I am pleased to meet ME

    this leaves me with hope...that you have reconciled your shortcomings and have become at peace with this.

    Wonderful piece of poetry here. You got me thinking and that is the best poetry can do, in my book anyway.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]


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