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    dots Submission Name: Nature's Beautydots

    Author: dead,yetalive
    ASL Info:    19,female, mia FL
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 100/104/28
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nature
    Total Views: 932
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 736

       This was the poem I told you guys I had to write ( about the beauty in the world?). Yea, well writing this totally stressed me out. I wrote it because my counselor wanted me to. It took me ALL SATURDAY to write it too. As you can probably tell by now, I'm not exactly the happiest person in the world. : (

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNature's Beautydots

    When you look all around you
    All you see is tragedy
    But I'm here to remind you
    Of all the beauty that I see
    When it's bright and sunny out
    Go have fun outside and shout
    You can look up at the sky
    See light blue and birds that fly
    On a dark and rainy night
    Sit by a window, out of sight
    Listen to the sound of rain,
    watch a movie, play a game
    Any night and any day
    Beautiful waters where we play
    Tall colored trees and lush green grass
    The sun, rising, is shinier than brass
    The moon, rising, reflets the sun's rays
    I see the stars and make wishes anyways
    I can think of many more
    Can you?

    Submitted on 2005-03-13 09:40:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      You did good here.. even if you had to put more effort in it than your other poems. This line is beautiful I think.. "Sit by a window, out of sight
    Listen to the sound of rain,". I can vision doing that myself. The rhyming is good.

    And.. go ahead and make that wish. It may not be "exactly" as you wished.. but it'll come.

    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Now see, that wasnt so bad after all. I'm sure if you put a little more heart into it, you might actually be happy with this writing. You've used rhyme here, something that always works well with nature poems. Some are a little strained, but others work very well. I think you've done a good job here and it didnt hurt at all. Keep trying
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by wannabe1 | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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