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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Strangerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greensnake
    ASL Info:    60/female/ N.C.
    Elite Ratio:    4.17 - 770/691/75
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1176
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 307



    Description:
       Spring fever is the only explanation for these feelings. That and memory.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Strangerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It has been years - another life
    Since I made love with a stranger.
    Some unknown lips pressed mine,
    And hands carressed me in new ways.

    I gave my word and bond,
    And I am old; but not so old
    That I do not wish to feel again
    The thrill of the stranger.




    Submitted on 2005-03-13 15:38:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think I have loved my wife since the first day I laid my eyes on her. Some people don't believe in love at first sight,but, I certainly do because it happened to me! So, although I do like to look, I guess my marrage with Doris Jean was the perfect immunization against "Spring fever" because I have had the urge to be with anyone else since we first met. But, I know I ain't dead yet because I do like to look!
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-05-08 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      beautifully exotic (or should I say erotic?). I loved your conveyaqnce of longing here and it came through quite clearly. the idea of married people missing the thrill, well it's not a topic that';s often discussed. good one
    | Posted on 2005-06-01 00:00:00 | by cainboy | [ Reply to This ]
      I have been married for almost 11 years to my high school sweetheart and am only 29, and I completely understand the desire to experience something new. (hehe check out The Mess on my site) Doesn't mean I don't love my husband more than the day I married him, I figure it's just good ol' human nature. Great write. Sweet, simple and goes right for the heart.
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-06-02 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very tender and touching. Being married for...a long time I relish the intimacy that my wife and I enjoy but I also am aware that chances are I will never, in this life, know again what it is like to share love with a stranger. This piece echoed those thoughts and I found it to be an insightful and well written poem. Dan
    | Posted on 2005-03-19 00:00:00 | by dmm | [ Reply to This ]
      Now, sometimes people forget everyone you ever met were a stranger at one time.

    Yes, you truly are a totally romantic and bravo for never wanting to let that young woman inside of you died.

    This poem spoke very highly of you, you kept your bond, bravo for that as well.

    Your simple choice of words kept this poem,very real, which brought the reader in more.

    Very good write
    Edward
    | Posted on 2005-03-18 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, I like this. I think it's great as it is, I'm going to give you a few (nitpicking) suggestions but I think they're more to do with personal style than making any big improvements, so feel free to disagree and ignore. "It has been years - another life/Since I made love..." I'd actually put the first line on two lines. It places more emphasis on how it feels like it was a different life. "It has been years/Another life/Since I made..."
    To me the third line reads better with an added word - "Some unknown lips pressed [to] mine". I felt like in the fourth line "new" didn't suit, that there was a better choice of word. Fascinating pops into my head for some reason.

    "And I am old; but not so old" - this I'd put on different lines again. And again, I felt a stronger word than wish could be used in the penultimate line. Wish to me is overused. Yearn, beg, etc. I LOVE that you used "the stranger" not "a stranger" in the end. All strangers are one. Fab. :)
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow this is why I enjoy your work.
    To think back on your youth to what it was like to make love to a stranger...the thrill...the excitment of it all.
    You laid this down to us (the reader) very well.
    But knowing that you can not go back to those care free days because of the bonds that hold you down.

    Great job.

    ~use your illusions
    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]


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