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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Vibrantdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 28
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 585
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 278



    Description:
       Happy Son Day 2 All!!!
    Love, Peace, Joy!!!
    Epiphany ; > }


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVibrantdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Vibrant turquoise
    and blue
    Wisdom old
    and new
    Son shine
    sleep
    Promises old
    keep
    Smile upon
    the lands
    time simply
    in sands
    Soul vibration
    clear
    Heaven's beauties
    near...




    Submitted on 2005-03-13 19:23:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love the play on words in this. Sorry I can't be more constructive, but I think you've done a great job. The only real improvement I could suggest is to maybe use "sand" instead of "sands" towards the end. I enjoyed this, thanks.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by boompatah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really nice!

    I might would reword this...

    "time simply
    in sands"

    to

    "time simply
    stands"

    but overall... I like it!
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the originality of your form in this poem. It lends itself well to the subject matter. I found myself lingering on in this poem re-arranging words, seeking a deeper meaning. And that is what good poetry should elicit. I enjoy the imagery in this, paired with an overall simplicity makes the piece feel very eloquent. Nice write.
    | Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by solararia | [ Reply to This ]
      your love for the Son is so apparent in most of your writing. it really is a beautiful expression. i love the turquoise and blue colours you speak of... i sure wish everyone thought this way. we could have heaven on earth, couldn't we? thank you for sharing your love and peace with all of us.

    ~Shalom
    | Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]


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