Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

...And The Lights Go Out

Author: WaxingPoetic
ASL Info:    27 ~ Louisiana
Elite Ratio:    4.45 - 493 /563 /100
Words: 171
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1201
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1131


This poem is just a notch in the time I have spent at Elite Skills. Most of my poems have been about a lost friendship that has hurt me deeply, and for those people that have kept up with me and my poems, they might have better understanding into this poem. It's just a goodbye to the worst year of my life, that officially ended February 28th. It's not really meant for great poetic-ness... just my way of saying goodbye. I know it is quite repetitive. Thanks for reading.

...And The Lights Go Out

Three hundred and sixty-five days:
Each day leaving a mark,
A gash on my heart,
Tearing off a layer of love.
Three hundred and sixty-five days
Drenched in sadness.
Tears never wiped away
By the one person causing them.
My best friend,
My companion for three years,
Gone with no goodbye.
Just walked into the arms of another
And lived his new life,
Without thinking of the one person
He left behind,
Drenched in sadness.
So now I say goodbye
To the worst year of my life.
A year that ended a friendship,
A year that left me seeking solace
In paper and pen,
And an internet connection.
I say goodbye to this year gone by,
Those three hundred and sixty-five days
That I remember so well.
And I welcome a new year;
A year of hope,
Of forgiveness,
And hopefully,
A new form of inspiration.
Here is my final goodbye
To three hundred sixty-five days
That I would wish on no one.
...And the lights go out.

Submitted on 2005-03-13 19:35:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  i read this and for a wee bit i thought your person was dead and my heart was breaking for you coz its been a year since my boyfriend ended his life and this poem has been my life... the worst year of my life and while it brings me relief that this boy you write of is still alive i realise that you can experience just as much pain and grief as if he were really dead...

the unwipeableness of tears.. i know this too well but i love how this ended with hope... i really do... of moving on... of recreating a lif without him... of turning your back the hardest year of your life and not extending it to the hardest 4 years... ya know...? like theres is a moving on'ness that i REALLY appreciate in this write... i hope stuff is going well for you in your world... take care
| Posted on 2005-05-07 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  I think traditions calls for the ushering in of a new year (even symbolic years) with a drink and with friends. So I'll just drink enough for the both of us (haha)!. Anyway reading this kinda makes me happy for you since i know alot of your poems have been about this same issue. SOudns like youre ready to move on and find that "new form of inspiration" Can't help but wonder why this "year" ended at the end of feburary though, but i bet you'll tell me that whenever you get a chance :) So congradulations and ihope this new page that your turning you are soon able to fill with more wonderful poetry. It's also cool that you've mentioned forgivness instead of eternal bitterness and anger.

Live at let die
| Posted on 2005-03-13 00:00:00 | by spoken | [ Reply to This ]
  First of all, thanks for commenting on "Death Within Me". Didnt really think I would hear it called pretty, but I guess if there is beauty in life, then there too is beauty in death.

Its quite okay that this is a piece that lacks "poeticness" because poetry is nothing, if not emotion.

I realize that this is a very personal statement, a goodbye to something that you have held onto for so long, but I am hard pressed to tell you that if you wanted to, with just a little tweaking, you could develop this into something more poetic and beautiful than you think.

Because of your description, and the fact that this IS so personal, I dont know that suggestions and fixers is what you are looking for so I wont get bogged down in specifics. However, if you are interested, you can PM me and I will share my ideas.

Overall though, I think you effectively got out that last bit of a "grudge" that you were holding onto, blew out that final flame of resentment that remained, and I think you did it in a rather effective manner.

Not having read any of your other poems, I had no background on this, yet I could tell that these words came from a very deep place, and that it was your effort to let go and make a new start. You conveyed that very well.

| Posted on 2005-03-14 00:00:00 | by pinurplepassion | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?